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Saturday, May 09, 2009

The Most Un-Jewish Things Of All

Mossa'ei Shabbath Qodesh Parshath Emor 5769

12. Bright Magenta Hair

11. Calling New York a holy city

10. The Meretz Party
(Like my Photoshopping?)


9. Uncovered Married Women's Hair
(Women who know better, take heart; women who don't, please talk to a rav.)


8. Black, Brimmed Hats


7. Neckties
(Croatian origins)

6. Hyphenated Surnames

5. Surnames period
(Try "son of"/"daughter of," your profession, HaKohen, HaLevi - if applicable, or even "from..." )

4. A non-Hebrew First Name
(I guess Aramaic is OK,...sort of.)

3. Inviting Christians to live in Israel

2. Mens' Wedding bands

1. Mustaches


List your favorite un-Jewish things below in the comments section!
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11 comments:

  1. Sam SokolMay 09, 2009 8:52 PM

    HEY. My pa had a mustache.

    ReplyDelete
  2. rutimizrachiMay 09, 2009 9:33 PM

    Ouch. I had to leave before the coming multiple flamings burned my head-covering off. You're a brave if foolish lad, EA. Have fun. Bring marshmallows. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Esser AgarothMay 09, 2009 11:02 PM

    Samuel, I am glad you wrote, because it gives me the opportunity to say the my critique of ideas, behaviors, and inanimate objects, not people.

    Ruti, Are you saying you anticipate negative and volatile responses to this post? I think you might be right, assuming people actually read it.

    What was my motivation? To wake people up, and give 'em a kick in the pants, not that I don't need one too once in a while regarding other issues.

    ReplyDelete
  4. mother in israelMay 10, 2009 1:39 PM

    11. Writing in English.
    12. Using Twitter.
    13. Using the Internet.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Esser AgarothMay 10, 2009 1:54 PM

    Hmmm...

    Are you just being sarcastic, and pointing out how judgmental and hypocritical you think I'm being?

    {I don't want to put words in your mouth. Let me know.}

    It is a pretty judgmental post.

    I was thinking that the three things you mention could very much be used as tools to teach Judaism, Torah, etc.

    I can't argue about the "writing in English" part. Of course, bloggers in English want to get our "Jewish" message out, no? -- even to those who do not [yet] speak Hebrew.

    Does it help that I'm talking about things and not people?

    For example, a woman who doesn't cover her hair is not "not Jewish." Maybe she's a BT, and not ready to take that on yet, and doing the best she can.

    However, I do not apologize for stating that a married woman who knows better, and doesn't cover her hair is doing something not Jewish.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jacob Da JewMay 10, 2009 6:27 PM

    Smack Smack.

    Hey, I love my wedding band, ok? And I'm Jacob Da Jew!

    I simply "love" how you're trying hard to piss everyone off- from black hats to wedding bands.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Esser AgarothMay 10, 2009 7:22 PM

    Me? Trying to piss everyone off?

    Just trying to wake everyone up.

    You can love your wedding band all you want, but that doesn't make it Jewish.

    Is this Brooklyn boy trying to get rough with someone whose braved walking through South Central {LA} at 2:00am?

    Try again.

    ;-}

    ReplyDelete
  8. BatyaMay 12, 2009 7:28 PM

    I'll add a wreath or dead flowers on a grave.

    My father, may he live and be well as he approaches 89, who isn't religious at all, once took me to his father's grave, pointed to the bushes growing and said that Jews don't bring dead plants.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Esser AgarothMay 12, 2009 10:57 PM

    Good addition, Batya.

    ReplyDelete
  10. rickismomMay 17, 2009 9:12 PM

    Loved the photoshop....

    You can add to the list:
    -gravestones with pictures of the deceased
    -

    ReplyDelete
  11. Esser AgarothMay 17, 2009 10:36 PM

    Yep. True. I remember the first time I visited Har Hertzl. Those photos were chalked up to the "Russian culture of mourning mothers."

    Hmmm.....

    ReplyDelete

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