MK Jamal Zahalka Is A Vampire!

כ"ב לחודש השני תשע"ג

MK Jamal Zahalka

Yishma'elite (Arab) MK Jamal Zahalka (Balad) "came out" as a vampire today in the K'nesseth.

While stating that it was time for him to "come out," he also emphasized that he was one of the "good vampires," as he only believed in sucking the blood out of Jews.

MK Zahalka compared himself to the Stephanie Meyer vampire character of Edward Cullen, since Cullen and his family only sucked the blood out of subhuman animals.

Although, the midrash on Esau's kiss of his brother Ya'aqov, really being a bite, is one possible source of the origins of vampires, Esau did marry daughters of Yishma'el. And so, MK Zahalka's claim seems to have some backing.

MK Zahalka previously made the headlines, when he refused to condemn the murder of Evyatar Borovsky by an Yishma'elite terrorist, stating that "Settlers had no right to self-defense."

When asked to elaborate, MK Zahalka replied with the following question:

"Where else are we 'good vampires' going to find something decent to suck the blood out of?"

And, then, of course, the now proverbial...

"Besides, Jewish Settler blood is cheap!"

MK Zahalka then proceeded to introduce proposal for the "Vampires Living A Democracy" [VLAD] legislation, which will include comprehension guarantees for the rights of vampires in Israel, such as the outlaw of garlic and wooden crosses, and automatic National Insurance subsidies for those vampires unable to gain employment during nighttime hours.

K'nesseth sources say that they expect the new law to pass, and to hold up to judicial scrutiny, in not praised by Israeli Supreme Court Justices for the law's "democratic progress."

When pressed for further information regarding the senseless murder of Jews in Yehudah and the Shomron, MK Zahalka asked, "Where was that? When was he killed? Is he still fresh?" He then flew out the door,...literally, he flew.

Meanwhile...

Evyatar Borovsky's son hugs his body at his funeral.