Friday, September 26, 2003

Happy Birthday, Shimon Peres (or A Tree Grows in Ofra)

The Sixth Month 5763

This Sunday, after the long and grueling pilgrimage to the Holy Land, many celebrities made their way to a celebration of grand proportions to pay homage to Shimon Peres on the occasion of his 80th birthday. The Land of Israel was graced by the presence of such upstanding and righteous dignitaries as former US President Bill Clinton, the last Premier of the Soviet Union Mikhail Gorbechov, and, of course, superstar Barbra Streisand (May she find her way back to Torah).

Let me take the opportunity to congratulate him on some of his many accomplishments.

Shimon Peres, thank you for your role in encouraging Jews to settle the Sinai Peninsula while under Israeli control.

Thank you for your role in encouraging the founding of Kfar Daron and Netzarim, towns in Gaza.

Thank you for the building of Israel’s [secret?] nuclear power plant.

Hmm…I doubt that the above-mentioned sovereigns of justice knew anything about this, for they most certainly would not have approved.

At the girls’ religious high school in Ofra, a town on the border between Judea and Samaria (See Judges 6:11), students can find shade underneath a big tree. According to the adjacent sign, this tree was planted by former Prime Minister Shimon Peres.

Mr. Peres, thank you for the tree.

In all fairness to Mr. Peres, I doubt he did any of these things for ideological reasons, so the “western cultural elite" and other politically-correct minded individuals can rest easy; they need not be concerned. Mr. Peres was possibly just going with the flow, and implementing such projects for his own political gain. After all, he was eventually able to see Jews have to leave their homes in the Sinai, while Jewish residents of Gaza, on the other hand, continue to get blown up and shot on a regular basis. (May G-d protect them and avenge their blood of the fallen!)

Although Mr. Peres does not understand why the Jews have not left Gaza, perhaps he believes they have now become spiritually broken and they are now much easier to handle. After all, everything Shimon Peres has done has been with the Jewish People’s best interests at heart, hasn’t it? Well, the government does continue its attempts to chip away at the Torah. And the Arabs continue to be on their way to outnumbering Jews in 50 years (G-d forbid), within the UN recognized borders, that is.

Certainly Mr. Peres believes the Arabs will “come around,” and make peace with Israel. I suppose, he lives according to that expression, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”

Meanwhile, the Jewish State continues on its path toward self-destruction, even without the bombs and bullets. Fifty years, remember?

It might be wise to consider some wisdom from 12-Step program literature:

“Repeating the same mistakes over again, expecting different results, is [nothing short of] insanity.”

Regarding that tree flourishing in Ofra, perhaps Mr. Peres expected that it would have died by now, or would be enjoyed by Arabs.

Well, such is not the case. The girls in Ofra still enjoy the benefit of your tree-planting, and for that I thank you.