בשלטון בג"ץ / Under the Control of Israel's High Court of Justice

י"ב לחודש השנים עשר ב' תשע"ט

English follows the Hebrew.

BaGa"Tz (Israeli High Court of Justice) under the leadership of Esther Hayut, President of the Israeli Supreme Court: The only political party which has never passed the threshold but has been in power since 1995.

(Im Tirtzu: Building a Zionist Society)

BaGa"Tz (Israeli High Court of Justice)
Because it really doesn't matter who you vote for

עשר אגורות (2¢):
בג"ץ פסל את מעמדות לכנסת של מיכאל בן ארי ואישר את מעמדויות של ח"כים ערבים המתנגדים להתיחס למדינת ישארל כמדינה יהודית, אפילו אחרי פיגוע איבה ערבית.

השופט "הימיני" ואפילו מתנחל דוד מינץ הצביע עם הרוב בעד פסילת מעמדות בן ארי ונגד פסילת מעמדות הערבים. השופט המתנחל השני מעם סולברג מאלון שבות בגוש עציון הצביע נגד פסילת מעמעדות בן ארי וגם נגד פסילת מעמעדות הערבים. שני השופטים האלה הם בוגרי ישיבת הר עציון. מי שמבין יבין. (השאלה אם מדינת ישארל היא באמת מדינה יהודית נדחה לשיחה אחרת.)

אז עכשיו אפשר לראות המון מֶמים כאלה בתקשורת חברתית. זאת אומרת שסוף סוף יהודים מתעוררים ומוכנים לעשות משהו על זה כבר? האמת היא יש לבית המשפט הזה הרשות
נראה.

בטח שאתם כבר יודעים את זה. אבל אולי עוד לא יודעים ששדולה אמריקאית פרו-ישראלית [איפא"ק] התקיף את מפלגת עוצמה יהודית ומיכאל בן ארי וקוראים להם כל מיני שמות כינוי (לא יפים).

איפא"ק הוא האירגון האמריקאי "היהודי" הטוען שישראל וארה"ב צריכים להשאר מחוברים לנצח. לדעתי, אפשר לתרגם את זה ככה: "ארה"ב מדינה ליהודים כמדינת ארץ ישראל יהודים לא צריכים לעלות לארץ ישראל ופשוט צריכים לזרוק כסף אל המדינה כדי לצאת מידי חובתם."

עדות נוספת שאיפאק לא באמת בעד ארץ ישראל ולא בעד יהדות אמיתית.

עדות נוספת של השפעת הערב רב אפילו מחו"ל על מה שקורה כאן בארץ.

Esser Agaroth (2¢):
As I say to my conservative friends in the U. S. all the time...

"Legislation from the Bench? You don't know anything about legislation from the Bench until you've lived in Israel."

מיכאל בן ארי
Michael Ben-Ari

Israel's High Court of [In]Justice just ruled against Michael Ben Ari's candidacy for Knesset, while approving the candidacy of the many Arabs who oppose Israel as a Jewish state, even after an Arab terror attack. The allegedly right-wing and "settler" Judge David Mintz (Dolev) voted with the majority in favor of disqualifying of Ben-Ari as well as the Arabs. The second "settler" judge Noam Sohlberg (Alon Shvut) voted against the disqualification of any of the candidacies. These two judges are graduates of Yeshivat Har Etzion. מי שמבין יבין. (Whether Israel truly is a Jewish state or not is a discussion for another time.)

So, now we can see lots of memes going around social media about Israel's High Court, like those I post here. Have Jews finally woken up and are prepared to do something about the High Court by working to change the laws putting legislative authority back into the hands of the Knesset whom we actually elect?

We shall see.

Meanwhile, in the U. S., the American-Israel Public Action Committee [AIPAC]
has gone after Michael Ben Ari and the Otzma Yehudit Party and have called them all sorts of names. AIPAC is the American "Jewish" organization that claims that Israel and the US should remain "connected forever." In my opinion, this can be translated as follows: "The United States is a home for the Jews as much as the State Land of Israel. Jews do not have to make aliyah (immigrate to Israel) and simply have to throw money into the country in order to fulfill their obligations to it."

Yet more evidence that AIPAC is neither pro-Israel, nor even pro-Jewish.

More evidence of the Erev Rav influence over Israel.

המקור של המם: אתה לא הנשיא שלי/You Are Not My President Meme Origin

ראש החודש הראשון תשע״ז

English follows the Hebrew.

בטח שאתם כבר ראיתם את הממים,* התמונות עם כתוביות המסתובבות באינטרנט, ונמצאות בחולצות ובחומות על נשיא ארה״ב הדי חדש דונאלד טראמפ. בכל מיני תמונות כתוב בהן ״הוא לא הנשיא שלי.״ (הפירוש המלא של ״מם״ נמצא למטה.)

האמריקאים שיוצרים ומעבירים את התמונות האלה הם שמאלנים. הם הם לא רק מאוכזבים על תוצאות הבחירות הארציות. אלה הם כועסים ומתוסכלים עליהן. הם אמרו לאמריקאים הימינים לכבד את תוצאות הבחירות אבל עכשיו, אחרי שהמועמדת של השאלנים הפסידה, הם לא מכבדים את תוצאות הבחירות כמו שהם ביקשו דרשו מהימינים, אלא הם מביעים את הצביעות שלהם.

״לא הנשיא לשלי״

והנה, אני מצאתי עוד תמונה. התמונה הזאת של נשיא מדינת ישראל ראובן ״רובי״ ריבלין וכתוב בה אותו הביטוי ״אתה לא הנשיא שלי.״

אז, נראה לי שאתה חושבים שישראלי גנב השיג את הרעיון הזה מהשמאלנים האמריקאים.

לא נכון! התאריך של התמונה הזאת של הנשיא ריבלין הוא יוני, 2015, יותר משנה לפני הבחירות בארה״ב. אז איזה אירוני אם ההפך קרה, שהשמאלנים השיגו גנבו את הרעיון לעשות מם על הנשיא טראמפ מהיהודים הימינים בארץ ישראל שיצרו את המם על הנשיא ריבלין.

Caption: "You are not my president."

Surely you have seen the memes of the recently elected, President of the United States, Donald Trump. All kinds of photos and drawings with the caption "He is not my president."

The Americans who created these meme are leftists. They are not only disappointed. They are angry and frustrated at the results of their national elections. They told the right-wing Americans to respect the election results, but now that their candidate has lost, they are ones not respecting the results of the elections as they asked those on the right to do. Instead, they are expressing their hypocrisy.

I just found another meme, one of the President of the State of Israel, Re'uven "Ruby" Rivlin, with practically the same caption, "You are not my president."

Perhaps you are thinking that an Israeli got the idea for this meme from American leftists.

Nope! The date of the President Rivlin meme is June, 2015, over a year before the American elections. How ironic it would be if it was the opposite which occurred, that the American leftists got the idea to make this meme for President Trump from the Right-wing Jews who made the above meme of President Rivlin.

*********

meme noun

מם, יחידת מידע תרבותית (כמו רעיון, מנהג, שפה, שיר) העוברת מדור לדור

meme יחיד | memes רבים

מֵם (מלועזית: Meme; המונח נגזר מהשורש היווני שמשמעותו "זיכרון") הוא יחידת מידע שמשתכפלת ממוחות ומאגרים לא-חיים של מידע (כגון ספרים ומחשבים), למוחות או מאגרים אחרים. במונחים יותר מפורטים, מם הוא יחידה של אבולוציה תרבותית שמשכפלת את עצמה, והיא דומה במקצת לגן (היחידה של הגנטיקה). ממים יכולים לבטא חלקי רעיונות, שפות, חלקיקים אלמנטריים, מנגינות, דגמים, כשרונות, ערכים מוסריים או אסתטיים או כל דבר אחר שנלמד ומועבר לאחרים כיחידה אחת. תחום הלימוד של המודלים האבולוציוניים של מעבר מידע קרוי ממטיקה. את המושג "מם" טבע ריצ'רד דוקינס ב-1976 בספרו "הגן האנוכיי". ל

Happy Easter, Israel!

מוצאי פסח תשע"ג

And speaking of fertility, the word "estrus" also comes to mind. I do not know the source of this photo and comments. It was going around facebook. If you happen to know its origins, please leave a comment, so that I can give that person or group credit.

This is probably not what most of your were expecting, based on this post's title. Nonetheless, I encourage you to continue reading.

This past Sunday was the avodah zarah (foreign/forbidden worship) celebration of Easter. That meant having to deal with an inundation of Christian "pilgrims" to Jerusalem and to other parts of Israel.

It will only continue this week and next with the "orthodox" Easter celebrated next Sunday, not to mention Christians getting the most out their plane tickets to get here, by spending more than just a few days here.

A friend visiting Israel for Pesah was in Jerusalem's Old City Sunday, watching this season's dramatization of the original avodah zarah parade, assuming it really ever took place. He said he would have to call me back. He wanted to see if Jeezer would show up. I rolled my eyes, and got off the phone. Later, he called back telling me of his disappointment. Jeezer was a no-show.

What was he doing there in the first place? Well, apparently, he was VERY bored, and ended up there somehow.

Christian "friends" (Translation: Christian "money") flow into Israel, and with them, their influence. Some Christians come to Israel for extended periods of time, in order to "volunteer" their time and energy to "help" Jewish farmers.

Some even sneak their way into a caravan (trailer) in a Jewish town in the Shomron (Samaria). I am still waiting to find out how THAT feat was pulled off. I won't hold my breath, though. No one is talking. 

*Note: The photo linked here is from a screen shot to the video this young, Christian couple made. When clicking on the link to the video, it now comes up as "Private."  How convenient...

Which family from Azza or Beth-El is homeless and couch-surfing because this Christian couple has taken away its heritage?

Believe you, me. They are not just here to missionize, and they are not going to stop at only one caravan.

"Rabbis" work on "bridge-building" between Jews and Christians, and Israel suffers the backlash. Israeli news agencies talk about "Judeo-Christian Values," even though there is no such thing.

The following video sums all of this up quite well. For written notes on this video, click here.

Naftali Bennett Photo Caption Contest

ו' וחודש הראשון תשע"ג

Rafi at Life In Israel turned me onto a photo caption contest for the photo of Jewish Home Party Head Naftali Bennett. Any takers? Please leave your caption entree below as a comment.

Photo Credit: Tomer Applebaum of Ha'aretz

Here are my Esser Agaroth (2¢) versions:

1. My kippah constantly falling off runs parallel my faith in HaShem and commitment to His Torah, as is reflected in my legislative agenda, such as granting Israeli citizenship to several thousand people who want to annihilate, granting autonomy within the Land of Israel to the rest of them, amounting to a couple million.

To intellectual for you? Then try this proverbial one:

2. If a kippah needs a clip, then it's not big enough. If there isn't anywhere to clip it anyway, then it's REALLY not big enough.

OK. Now it's your turn.

Pottermore

10 of the Fifth Month 5771

Well, the last of the Harry Potter films came out. So, now, I guess all we have to look forward to are memes. Here's one I just found.

From Immantania Armansyah...

(Click To Enlarge)

Pottermore Name:

Jack Trapp

What Hogwarts House do you think it SOUNDS like:

Hufflepuff

What Hogwarts House do you WANT to be in:

Hufflepuff. They are the most loyal friends, and highly underestimated.

Does the username relate to you at all (why/why not):

Yes. Not telling.

What kind of wand would you wish to get:

Already have one: 12 1/2 inches, fig, talking donkey hair (See Numbers 22:28-33)

It's all in the wand, baby!

Pure Blood/Half Blood/Muggle Born:

Half Blood. Pure bloods are snooty and boring.

Which day 1-7 did you get into Pottermore:

Day 7

Cat, Rat, Owl, or Toad?:

Cat

Expecto Patronum! What is your patronus shape and why?:

A Badger.

Oh no! You’ve found a boggart! What does it look like?:

A snake.

Riddikulus! Now what does it look like?:

A Slinky.

Would you rather be an Animagus or a Metamorphmagus and why?:

Animagus, because they are more dramatic.

If you taught yourself to be an Animagus, what animal would best suit you and why?:

You can't teach yourself to be an Animagus. You're just born that way. But, I would probably be a badger, as I am a descendant of Helga Hufflepuff.

The Super Power Meme

6 of the Seventh Month 5770

Jacob Da Jew tagged me with the "Super Power Meme." He says he tagged me "'cause the West Bank is the new Wild Wild West and a Superpower sure would come in handy."

Here are the rules of this meme,...which I, in typical Esser Agaroth fashion, will bend, break, and destroy, one by one.

1: Write one superpower you would like to have and what you would do with it.

2: Write why you chose that super power over everything else.

3: Tag and link lots of people, and write why you think they will have an interesting meme.

4: Fix your broken links.

5: Don't forget to leave a comment below with a link to your post on this meme.

So, which super power would I like to have? Well, that all depends. I'll break it down into themes.

If I were a member of the Justice League of America, I'd want to have the power of the Green Lantern's power ring.

The power ring's most distinctive effect is the generation of green, solid-light constructs, the precise physical nature of which has never been specified. The size, complexity, and strength of these constructs is limited only by the ring-bearer's willpower; whatever the wearer imagines, the ring will create. No hard upper limit to the power ring's capabilities has yet been demonstrated and it is often referred to as "the most powerful weapon in the universe."

Do I really need to provide an explanation as to why I would want the powers of a ring which is limited only by whatever the wearer imagines (...and the color yellow)?

Now, if I were to choose from the super powers of the X-Men, one of my favorite series, I choose either the telekinetic abilities of the Phoenix or the shape-shifting abilities of Mystique. It would be way cool to be able to move anything around, including myself or to shape-shift into any appearance.

But, the truth is that the one super power I would really like to possess is magic, like in the wizarding world of Harry Potter. Or, as Jacob Da Jew might phrase it...



It's all in the wand, baby!

I don't know if Jacob, or the originators of this meme would count this as a super power, but so what.... I'll do what I want. And, if I had Harry Potter's magic, I really could do what I want.

As most of you, know, I do not like to hassle people with tags. I'll just make a few suggestions, going back to the Justice League/Super Friends theme.

Rafi is more of a long-distance runner than a sprinter, but perhaps could be seen as The Flash anyway.

I could see Batya or Lisa as Wonder Woman. (Rumor has it that Lisa is an avid comic book reader, too.)

I have it on good authority that Ron (AKA: The Hashmonean) likes powerful vehicles. I could see him feeling quite comfortable behind the wheel of the Batmobile, souped up with loads of gadgets, mowing down a terrorist or two. I actually see him more as Robin that as Batman. The honor of being Batman gets bestowed on Nathan of Lines Writing Lines. You're both in Tel-Aviv, so that'll be convenient for you to work together. Have you even met, yet? I think you might get along. I'm pretty sure, anyway.

Jack's leadership skills make him suited for the role of Superman, the proverbial head of the Justice League/Super Friends (AKA Super Bloggers). Plus, as an abba (dad) , I'm sure a super power or two would come in handy (eg. x-ray vision, superhuman strength, superhuman speed, flying, etc).

I could see Bar-Kokhba as Aquaman. Don't ask me how I came to this conclusion. It's a secret.

Eric at The Israel Situation would make a good Hawkman. "Why?" you ask. Why not? He's in Colorado,...lots of peaks and mountains. Being able to fly would certainly come in handy.

I wonder if Material Maidel would make a good Bat Girl. Let's ask her.... She already chose "time travel" as super power. But, since she might be a closet nerd, Bat Girl would be perfect for her, as her alter ego is a librarian.

Omri at Mere Rhetoric could be Atom, getting into places he shouldn't. And Daniel of The Jewish Fist could be Green Arrow. That should help him deal with the local "nuisances"
in his area.

What about Occidental Israeli? Could he be a Human Torch?

Now, how could I possible forget Micha'el at My Random Diatribes? He's one of the few bloggers I know "in real life." He has just the personality to be a super hero. But which one? Which super power would he choose.

Stay tuned....

7 Things About Me

3 of the Ninth Month 5769

I was tagged by Here in Highland Park.

I'll be a good sport, but the truth is that I've already done a few other memes which are very similar.

About a year ago, my friend David, still languishing in San Diego, sent me something similar, sort of a 6 x 4 meme e-mail.

Before that Jacob Da Jew "smagged" me with a 6 x 8 meme.

Like my Six Word Memoir, this meme has turned out to be mostly about where I have lived.

Here are the rules:

1. Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people (if possible) at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs. (See below about "tagging.")
4. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blogs.

Seven facts about me:

1. From birth until the age of 27, I lived in the State of California, 24 years in the south, three years in the north.

2. I have not left Israel for the past 10 years, 3 months.

3. During my 11 years in Israel, I have lived in Tel-Aviv, Jerusalem (Qiriyath Moshe), Beth-El (Beth), Ofra, and K'far Tapu'ah.

4. K'far Tapu'ah (4 years) is where I have lived for the longest period of time in the same house after my father's current house (16 years).

5. From my bedroom window, I can see an olive grove, a goat shed, a parchment factory, a dog kennel, and up to three donkeys.

6. Two years ago, the question arose as to whether my town (K'far Tapu'ah) should keep two days of Purim min hasafeq like Shiloh and Hevron. That question was very short-lived. We continue to keep only one day, the 14th.

7. I have been designing "authentic" Jewish clothing for a few years now. Now all I have to do if find the right material and either have them made or learn how to make them myself.

OK. Nothing terribly exciting, I know, but I'm "yotzei." OK. Here's one more:

8. I do the Set and Quiddler on-line puzzles on a daily basis. I also do Sudoku.

As far as "tagging" goes, like Rafi, I do not usually tag anyone. I will let them know about this meme, and see if any of them want to play along. In the meantime, checking out these bloggers' blogs:

1. The Jewish Fist - inquiring minds want to know, plus I want to get him some traffic
2. How To Measure The Years - because he hasn't been blogging for a while
3. Ehav Ever - recently, sort of, met him on-line
4. I don't know who else. I like doing these things, but I really don't like harassing people who don't, even though I am not really tagging them.

Sorry,...best I could do.

A Hanukkah Conundrum

18 of the Eighth Month 5769

It was recently pointed out to me that Festivus falls during Hanukkah. OK, I saw that coming. But, what I did not immediately realize was the serious shailah which comes up as a result of the conflict:

Is one allowed to meqaym the Festivus minhag of the "Airing Of Grievances" during Hanukkah?

Two years ago, Festivus fell on Shabbath, and the last day of Hanukkah. The solution was easy, to postpone it until after Shabbath and Hanukkah went out.

Last year, Festivus fell a good week and half after Hanukkah. So, there wasn't any conflict with Hanukkah to deal with, but I took the opportunity to answer some crucial Festivus shailos.

It appears from my notes that I inferred in one of my rulings, that one may not air grievances during Hanukkah:

Instances when e-mails cannot be sent on December 23 include Shabbath and Hanukkah for Jews.

However, I believe that further research is necessary. So, I have asked resident mumhim on such matters, Jacob Da Jew, Frum Satire, and Erica to review the relevant literature, consult their own rabbonim and hevrusas, and to provide us with tshuvos.

(Erica, this is not a meme,...not exactly anyway. I know you hate memes.)

I have also asked Benjy Lovitt, whom I have only recently met on-line, to chime in. Let's see what this new Jew-rusalem transplant from Tel-Aviv has to say.

Please leave your tshuvos or links to tshuvos in the comments section. Everyone is welcome to chime in,...well, almost everybody.

I realize that Festivus and Hanukkah still five weeks away. But such intricate halachic discourse requires time and care, as does the crucial matter of publicizing the various opinions and rulings to the tzibur.

Any additional Festivus shailos? Post them here in the comments section.

The Blog Challenge: "Only Seven?" And The Bloggers Conference

24 of the Fourth Month 5768

Batya "tagged" me in the Blog Challenge. So, now I am supposed list my seven favorite blogs.

Only seven?

My combined blogs rolls contain like 97 blogs. How am I supposed to narrow that list down to seven?

I am not even going to try. However, for the purposes of this "challenge," I will stick with only those blogs which have been fairly active recently. I like several blogs, which have not been active lately. But since their fates are currently unknown, I will stick with active ones.

Here they are in no particular order...

I particularly like what I like to call "slice of life" blogs

Jacob Da Jew often writes from this point of view. We disagree on stuff. But, so what? I just starting following his blog one day, and can't stop. Sometimes he pisses me off, and I take a break. But I always go back. That's the sign of a good write, the ability to evoke emotion in readers, without being mean and nasty about it. He also reminds me [unintentionally] of all the stuff I don't miss in galuth,...no offense. I like his "tell it like it is" style.

Israeli By Day, American By Night: Danny and I bumped into either other three years ago on a bus. He was on a tour and his settler-friendly guide, Ruthie Brenner instructed the bus driver to pick up trempistim (hitchhikers). Now he lives here, and I get to follow his trials and tribulations on his blog as an oleh hadash (new immigrant). We also do not agree a some issues, but like I said before, so what?

TNSPR makes the list, because otherwise he'll blackmail me. Just kidding!

Lemon Lime Moon - I like Lemon's style, both written and visual. I just like looking at her blog, and all the detail and care she has put into it. She also has, shall we say, a lot of fun "Photoshopping."

Life In Israel - Rafi keeps me up to date on a lot of local news I don't have the koah to keep up with, and he tolerates my correspondence.

Tel-Chai Nation also keeps me up on the news, that doesn't always make the news, or comes and goes very quickly. Tel-Chai Nation is good at catching these kinds of things.

Random Thoughts: I like Jack's blog in general, but I particularly like it when he talks about his son. It makes me really want to be a dad....

Simply Jews: Snoopy intrigues me. I don't know why. He just does. That can be dangerous, I know, but I can't help it.

Smooth Stone seems to cover everything related to Israel. I don't know Smooth Stone does it.

Something & Half Of Something: I like what she has to say, and how she says it.

Sultan Knish: I like The Sultan's style and insights.

The Key To Redemption focuses on one of the most important issues of the day is Israel, yet no one seems to want to listen (not Women In Green, not the Likud Party, and apparently not Arutz 7). Geulah Girl perseveres none the less.

Tomer Devorah covers this issue, too, but connects current events with Jewish textual sources, fascinating to read.

(That's right. You'll have to click on their links to find out what I'm talking about!)

As I said, there are several blogs which I like a lot, whose bloggers are not terribly active these days for one reason or another.

I want to make mention of one, just because I want to give him a blogger-kick-in-the-pants. Doodle Head, where are you? Doodle Head is (was/will be?) my favorite "slice of life" blog.

OK, one more. I miss seeing new photos from my buddy Emmanuel from far away Portugal.

Hmmm... I just realized something. Everyone has been all a buzz about the inaugural JBloggers Conference coming up in Jerusalem.

None of those bloggers whose expected attendance at the conference has been publicized made my list.

I wonder what that means,...if anything.

Actually, I looked at the registration form, and this caught my eye:

*Spaces are limited and admission is subject to approval.

I immediately wrote to the organizers, because I wanted to find out what "subject to approval" meant.

But, alas, no conspiracies here. I told that...

1. They wanted to make such that attendees were bona fide bloggers, and...

2. Politics was not a factor for having received an invitation. I received an invitation because I was a Jewish blogger, period.

For a variety of reasons, though, I will not be attending said conference. I would like to maintain my half-hearted-anonymity, Batya was not invited to be on a panel, and several other reasons, which I may or may not decide to reveal in the future. I have no doubt you will suffer greatly by the lack of my presence at this conference (eyes innocently rolled upward). But, you will just have to make do. Don't fret, though. I will be their in spirit, as will several of my spies, who will report back with all of the [halachicly permissible] juicy gossip!

Rumor has it that mine won't be the only spies there. (Mi she'mevin, yevin.)

But I digress...

Those of you listed above are supposedly now expected to take up this blog challenge, post your seven favorites on your blog, and run back here to my comments section and post the link.

As you know, or hope know, I am very much against obligating others to participate in such "memes," albeit glorified.

I invite you to participate, only if you want to. Be forewarned. Expect to experience the wrath of those you did not mention, as I expect to shortly.

Six Word Memoir

Yom Yerushalayim 5768

I was tagged for this meme by Snoopy The Goon at Simply Jews, to produce my memoir in six words....

San Diego Los Angeles Israel Hogwarts

Not the kind of response you would expect from a Torah Zionist Jew, who is sometimes called a "right-wing extremist," is it?

I suppose this warrants some explanation, mind you, only "some" explanation.

If I had not been blessed with growing up in cities with two-word names, I probably would have thrown in a few more place names. The fact these cities have more than one word in their names are representative of how I see myself: complicated.

I used location names, as life has been very much a journey from place to place for me, and not just physical, but mental, emotional, and spiritual as well.

San Diego is where I was born. At the age of two, we moved to the suburbs, but I never lost my connection with the "big city," the border of which was only a few miles away. I went into town or to the beach when I could, and after college and graduate school, moved back to "America's Finest City." My education began there. My Jewish education, my secular education, and my street education.

Los Angeles is where my education continued,...my Jewish education, my academic education, and my street education. This is where I first lived on my own, so I have a connection to this city as well, the city many non-Californians seem to hate, until they end up moving there themselves.

Israel is where I finally made my home, and where I have continued my education. Yes, that includes my street education (Detect a pattern here?), as well as my "hilltop" education, along with my Torah education, which I hope was obvious to you already.

Hogwarts is a fictional place, representative of my increasing access to my developing creative side. Yes, I would like to write a novel some day. But the only thing that should seem unusual to you is that as a Southern Californian, why am I not writing a screenplay....

I do not particular like tagging people, so I'm not gong to, except maybe a few. I do like BEING tagged, though, just to let you know.

Tag List:

TNSPR (The only one I can think of so far who would tolerate a tag.)

Please leave a link to your tag reply in the comments section.

At David's Request

It feels as though I have been doing a lot of memes lately. They are a great to procrastinate and to avoid doing all of those important things in life, like finding a job, finding a wife, growing spiritually. You know, important things....

When my friend David, one of my few friends left in the "old country" (San Diego), asking me to do this one, I could not refuse. You see, David has really never asked anything of me in the 12 years that I have known him, a good enough excuse to procrastinate. After all, I did my job-hunting for the day and fulfilled some additional obligations to other people.

Now, here's what you're supposed to do, and please do not spoil the fun.Hit forward, delete my answers and type in your answers. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know INCLUDING the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little known facts about those who know you. Remember to send it back to the person who sent it to you.

4 jobs I have had in my life:
(I'll list the ones most people don't know about.)

• Lifeguard, Swim Instructor, Coach


• Dance Club Door Man & Bar Back
  (I have no doubt that this one blew some of you away!)


• Shift Manager in an Internet Cafe


• AOL Customer Service Agent

4 places where I have lived:

• San Diego, CA
  (Mission Village, Middletown, Uptown. Lake Murray)


• Los Angeles County, CA
  (Westwood, Santa Monica)


• San Francisco Bay Area, CA
  (Oakland, Hayward)


• Israel
  (Tel-Aviv, Jerusalem, Binyamin, Efraim)

4 places I have been on vacation:

• Europe (age 4), (Father's Sabbatical Trip)


• South America (age 13), (Father's Sabbatical Trip)


• Las Vegas, NV, Phoenix, AZ, Palm Springs, CA (Fraternity Road Trips), Yuma, AZ (Padres Spring Training)


• Tiveriah, Tzfat, Gallil, Golan, Israel (chaperon on my 8th-graders school trip)

4 of my favorite foods

• Shwarmah


• Steak


• Chicken Soup - as it should be & when it's cold out


• Most Things with Coffee or Chocolate in them

4 places I would rather be right now:

• Jerusalem - in a quiet & warm apartment


• Eilat - I've never been, and would like to go


• Nahariyah - in the summer


• The Beach - in the summer

4 friends or relatives I think will respond first (possibly) :

You know what, David, I dunno. I'm not in the habit of "tagging" people anymore. i let people "tag" themselves. Hopefully they will come back to put a link to their responses in the comments section below.

Sorry, David, I guess that means I'm spoiling the fun.

Shmagged!

Hanukkah Day 5/Erev Rosh Hodesh Ha'Asiri 5768

There is an expression of sorts:

"Be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it."

Well, I happened to have mentioned to Jacob Da Jew, and a few other bloggers that I would not actually mind being "tagged" to do a meme.

Jacob took me up on that, and "shmagged" me, which I suppose is something like being "tagged." Well, that's how I intend to interpret it.

Of course, knowing MY luck, I get tagged for a very loooooooong meme, you know the "Number 8" one that's been going around.

Why 8, and not 5 or 10? I don't know.

But, here are some interesting notes on the number 8:

I was born on the 8th day of the Sixth Month (Ellul).

The gematriah qetanah of my full name is 8.

As 7 in the number of Shabbath, 8 is the number of Mossa'ei Shabbath (Saturday night), as well as HaOlam HaBa (The World To Come).

And, of course, this post is written during Hanukkah, which has 8 days.

8 passions in my life:

• Authentic Judaism
• Correspondence
• Communication
• Writing
• The Beach
• Meeting New People
• Science Fiction/Fantasy
• Coffee

8 Things to do before I die:

• Get married
• Have children
• Write a book
• Publish said book
• Complete the Ramba"m's Mishnah Torah with Rav Yosef Qafah's ztz"l perush
• Achieve spiritual maturity
• Own my own home
• Write another book

8 Things that I say often:

• Right (alla Dr. Evil in "Austin Powers")
• What's up?
• By the way...
• Um,..'K (alla Kyle from "South Park")
• Mah Nishma'? (Heb.: "What's up?")
• Slihah (Heb.: "Please, get out of my way.")
• Nu. b'Emet! (Heb.: "Oh, puh-lease!")
• K'ilu (Heb.: "like")

8 books I read recently:
(The answer to this can be found in my cool, "Good Reads" widget. It actually lists 20 books. In the event the widget is being insolent, you can view the 8 most recent books I read in the comments section.)

I thought Jacob might be interested in Good Reads. He [and you] can click on my Good Reads Profile above, join in, and add me as a friend.


8 Songs that mean something to me:

• Roam - The B-52's, 1990
• Enjoy The Silence - Depeche Mode, 1990 (video)
• Never Let Me Down - Depeche Mode, 1987
• It's A Wonderful Life - Black, 1987
• Shake The Disease - Depeche Mode, 1985
• The Power Of Love - Frankie Goes To Hollywood, 1984
• The Look Of Love - ABC, 1982
• Poison Arrow - ABC, 1982

8 things I look for in a friend:

• Listens
• Loyalty
• Hold a decent and intelligent conversation
• Have something in common with me
• Doesn't take my inventory (heshbon nefesh)
• Doesn't use the word "should" with me
• Doesn't take crap from me
• Is a Virgo, Capricorn, or Pisces (not a hard & fast rule)

I think I'll just let others "shmag" themselves.

Five Things I Should Be Doing Instead Of Blogging

Mossa'ei Shabbath Qodesh Parshath Hayyei Sarah 5768

Once again I was left out, and had to "steal" a meme.
I stole it from TNSPR569 who tagged by Batya.


Five Things I Should Be Doing Instead Of Blogging

*Of course, since I stole this, I don't have to follow the rules. For better or worse, I have more than five things I should be doing instead of blogging.

8. Cleaning my bedroom

7. Washing dishes

6. Doing laundry (without I washing machine, I might add!)

5. Looking for a free, TV show streaming site now that TV-Links seems to be out of commission.

4. Looking for a wife

3. Learning

2. Getting a life

and the number one thing I should be doing instead of blogging is:

1. Getting a Friggin' Job!

*That's fracking for you BSG fans.

Well, I don't thin I'll tag anyone. But, If you decide to answer this one, then please leave me a shameless plug about in a comment below!

Restaurant Meme

26 of the Seventh Month 5768

OK. So, I wasn't exactly "tagged" for this meme. In fact, I wasn't "tagged" at all.

I stole it.

I know, I know. You're all thinking:

"Ya'aqov, really! If you have time to sit around, surf the Internet, and actually push your way into silly and annoying, little blogger games, then you REALLY need to get a life!"

But, I couldn't help myself. I had to put my 10 Ag. worth into this crucial question of the Top 5 Five Restaurants in my area. It originally read:

Add a direct link to the post below the name of the person who tagged you. Include city/state and country that you're in.

Stolen from
"Jacob DaJew"

Link

K'far Tapu'ah, Shomron, Israel

List out your top 5 favorite places to eat at your location.

I'm going to stick with Jacob's lead on this, and list "...my top five favorite places to get food from, not necessarily restaurants." I don't think I going to stick with just five, either. Oh, and, I'm not going to limit myself to one tiny location which is closer to Jordan than the Mediterranean Sea, either. Although most of my entries come from Jerusalem. Oh, yeah, and I'm going to categorize the entries. Hey, I stole it, right? I can play this however I want.

I am not going to tag anyone either. If you are interested in participating by listing your own favorites, and/or debating mine, make sure to leave a comment and link on this post. And, of course, in the self-promotional spirit of the Blogosphere, please DO link back to this post. (wink, grin) So far, only Batya has taken up the challenge.

1. Pizza
Let's face it. There's just no such thing as "good pizza in Israel." It's all about the crust. [Native-born] Israelis just don't seem to know how make good pizza crust, unless it's by accident. I heard a rumor that one place actually DID make good crust, but since "Israelis" didn't like it, he had to stop making it.

Anyway, the least worst pizza in Israel comes from Big Apple Pizza (Jerusalem Rabbanut - Mehadrin) in the Center of town, Jerusalem, and Pizza Shai in Beis Yisroel (Eidah Haredis).

Sure, people rave about Dr. Pizza (Rav Rubin), Bar Ilan Pizza (Eidah Haredis) and Pepperolli's (Eidah Haredis). I've had them all, and they are all OK. But, my votes for the above stand.

In all fairness, people used to rave about Pizza Larry, near Har Nof, which I've never tried. But, I believe it has moved.

2. Shawarmah
BY FAR, THE best shawarmah I've had in Israel has been from HaShawarmah (Rav Rubin) in the Shmu'el HaNavi neighborhood,...sort of. It's actually up on Golda Meir St., on the left before the Angels bakery. Both the turkey and the beef are good. I'm afraid I forgot if they have mutton, but if they do, then that's good, too. Their secret (not anymore) is that they don't over roast it. They then finish the cooking on the grill, according to order. It comes out very juicy this way.

Also worth mentioning is Hallo Teman (Rav Mahpud) which branches at the entrance to Jerusalem and at Coca-Cola Junction in B'nei Braq. In the spirit of "at your location," I will mention Baba Grill Bar in Ariel (Ariel Rabbinut, all mehadrin ingredients)

3. Yemenite
The best Yemenite restaurant could be found on the ground floor of the Tel-Aviv Central Bus Station. Don't laugh! If you look hard enough, you too, can find a treasure or two in this underrated bastion bargains. Unfortunately, the restaurant called HaTemani disappeared a couple of years ago. I may has found it again on Rothschild St. It has the same name, but I'll have to check if it is the same place.

An old standard for reasonably-priced, good Yemenite food is, of course, HaMervad HaQsamim (The Magic Carpet) on King George St. in Jerusalem.

4. Ashkinazi
OK. So, to be fair, I had better list the best traditional Ashkinazi food available. That would be Moshe Leiberbaum's (Eidah Haredis) on Shtrauss on the way to Kikar Shabbos in Jerusalem. I cannot recall this restaurant's real name. Everyone just calls it by the owner's name. All your favorites can be found here: Roast chicken, stuffed peppers, potato kugel, and [not necessarily] Ashkinazi salads. Try Moshe's chopped liver! This is a great place to go for Shabbos take out, when you're in a pinch, or even if you're not.


5. Bakeries
There are a lot of great bakeries in Israel. For mizrahi style, your best bet is in the HaTiqwah Neighborhood in Tel-Aviv. HaMervad HaQsamim (above) also makes their own saluf bread.

The best health/organic bakery is probably The Natural Choice (Belz) near Shuq Mahaneh Yehudah in Jerusalem.

The best "I can't believe they're not milkhig," gooey, chocolate, chocolate chip cookie in Israel is only one of the treats you will find at Habah (Agudas Yisroel), in Mahaneh Yehudah on Yaffo St. Both their separated, parve and dairy bakeries are worth a taste.

For the best "I can't believe they're not milkhig," fancy-shmancy items, go to the Belgian Bakery on KKL in the Sha'arei Hesed neighborhood of Jerusalem. Sorry to be stereotypical, but the Belgians really DO know their chocolate!

6. Fallafel
Last, but definitely not least, everyone always wants to know where the best Fallafel is in all of Israel. I have actually heard many claim that the best fallafel in Israel can be found in Qiriyath Shmemonah on the Lebanese border. I was only there once, and did not have fallafel, so I cannot say myself. What I have heard is that "green fallafel" is found more often in the north and in Lebanon, than down here in the center of the country, the are with which I am most familiar. "Green Fallafel," obtaining its green color and distinctive flavor from the extra parsley and coriander leaf (cilantro in Spanish and in the SW USA), is my favorite. The best green fallafel I have found is at Arba Ta'amim (Four Flavors) in B'nei Braq (Nahalath Yitzhaq* & B'nei Braq Rabbanut), with additional branches in Tel-Aviv. The other three flavors available are spicy, sesame seed, and regular.

Although I have eaten a great deal of fallafel in my life, I still do not consider my a conosuer. Fallafel King (Jerusalem Rabbanut - Mehadrin) on King George St. in Jerusalem, with its all-you-can-eat salads is not bad. But, I do look forward to YOUR recommendations!

Not mentioned here are the best ice cream in Israel, the best seafood in Israel, etc. Please let me know. The best coffee house in Israel probably deserves its own post. I'm always interested in new places in Israel to try.

Don't forget to leave your opinions in the comments to this post, and a link to your posts if possible.

בתאבון
Bon Appetit!


*****************************
*I must note that many are concerned with the validity of the Nahalath Yitzhaq Kashruth certification. I will simply state here that one may want to investigate establishments on a case by case basis. The certification is legitimate, but the manner in which the certification was procured may not be.

Tagged Twice

15 of the Fourth Month 5767

Well, now that I've been tagged twice, I guess I can no longer be a party-pooper. First I was tagged by Batya. I told her that I didn't have the ko'ah. Then she said I'd hit by lightening or something. Now, I've just been tagged by Doodlehead. Since he recently provided me with some secret, crucial information, I guess it's time to pay the piper.

Here are the rules. In the immortal words of Eve Arden in the movie "Grease:"

"Rules are rules."

Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

1. My father was an art professor.

2. By the age of 14, I had visited 20 countries on two continents, besides the U. S./N. A.

3. I was a lifeguard for five years. My mother, brother z"l, and sister were as well. I'm one of the few native San Diegans who does not surf. I probably will get on a board one of these days. In the meantime, I can still do a 360 on a boogie board!

4. I am a brother in Alpha Epsilon Pi,...and am looking for others in Israel.

5. I have this annoying talent of being able to quote lines from films, like The Breakfast Club, by heart.

6. I've lived most of most of my 10 years in Israel in Yehudah and Shomron.

7. I have eclectic taste in music, including classical, New Age, and 80's. (No Country) I've been a fan of Depeche Mode almost since their beginning in 1981. Along with Beethoven, Mussorgsky, and Stravinsky, they have had a profound effect on my life.

8. I'm a Harry Potter fan. I read books 5 and 6, three times each. I don't think that R. A. B. in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will turn out to be Regulus Black,...too obvious. It'll be Neville's grandmother Augusta for sure!




OK. Well, I cheated, having crammed more than one fact/habit into each line. But at least they're related.

Now, I'll tag....

1. Irina, which I feel the most guilty about because I know she's incredibly busy. 2. HaKav HaYorim, now that he's out of the army, and must have tons of time on his hands. 3. Faith In Nathan 4. Derech HaMelech 5. Ezra HaLevi 6. Tel-Chai Nation 7. Brooklyn Habiru 8. Sultan Knish, 8 1/2. Frum Satire, because I'm intrigued as to what these guys might list.

*I will NOT tag Erica, because she's been bugged enough by bloggers' memes.

...and I don't have to noodge Kalashnikover Rebbe nor Rafi G., because Doodlehead already did.

Top 12 Reasons to Live in Israel

24 of the Third Month 5767

Rafi G. at Life In Israel made me do this....

Here are my Top 12 Reasons to live in Israel:

12. Not missing the same desert weather, beaches, and plant life of Southern California. It's all here!

11. You don't have to be a doctor, a lawyer, or an accountant in order to be a highly respected member of the Jewish community.

10. "Rabbi" IS an acceptable career choice for a "nice Jewish boy."

9. Jewish farmers: Yep! They really exist.

8. Not having to save up all of your sick days at work, in order to take off Jewish holidays

7. Sunday is a regular workday here; Saturday isn't.

6. You don't have to wear a tie to work...yet.

5. The simple, everyday act of commuting to work can be a lesson in ancient, Jewish history and geography.

4. Having deep discussions with complete strangers on the bus, deeper than most people in the U. S. have with their friends

3. Connecting with Jews from around the world, and having to communicate with wach other in Hebrew, because it's only language we know in common.

2. People are closer with each other; relationships are more intimate than in the U. S.


And the Number 1 reason to live in Israel is...


1. It's the Homeland of the Jewish People.

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Check out more Top 12's and other Jewish and Israeli blog posts on this week's edition of the Haveil Havalim Blog Carnival (#120).