פאוויי, פיטסנורג, קליוויל! להתעורר כבר! / Poway, Pittsburgh, Colleyville! Jews, Wake Up Already!

י״ז לחודש האחד עשר תשפ״ב

English follows the Hebrew.

YNET: פורסמה זהות החוטף מבית הכנסת בטקסס, ביידן: "זו פעולת טרור"

ה-FBI מסר כי החוטף שהחזיק במשך 10 שעות את ארבעת בני ערובה וחוסל הוא מאליק פייסל אכרם, אזרח בריטניה בן 44. נשיא ארה"ב אמר כי "הוא רכש את כלי הנשק ברחוב אחרי שנחת". בנט שוחח עם מושל טקסס והודה לו על חילוצם של בני הערובה בשלום 17.01.2022

עשר אגורות (2¢):
פאווי, פיטסבורג, קליוויל...

אתם זוכרים השמות הערים האלה, כי הם מוזכרים בחדשות היום. אבל, האם אתם זוכרים את השמות של כל המקומות האחרים איפה התקיימו פיגועי טרור נגד יהודים בארה״ב? מה עם לוס אנג'לס, סיאטל וניו יורק? 

האם אתם בעצם חושבים אפשר שחטיפת בני ערובה יהודים בקליוויל, טקסס לא נבעה מאנטישמיות משנאת יהודים? אם כן, אז כנראה אתם גם מאמינים שה"חסד" במתן תה למחבל הישמעאלי, הוא שהציל אותם. ואז כנראה אתם גם מתייחסים למנהיג רוחני שלהם כ״רב״ למרות שהוא בוגר היברו יוניון קולג' (רפורמי). לקרוא לבית כנסת שלהם ״סינגוג״ הוא כן הגיוני כי ״סינגוג״ היא מילה יוונית , כלומר. הלניסטית - תרבות התבוללות של עם ישראל.

אני כותב את כתבה זו כדי לעודד את היהודים שעדיין מתגוררים בארה״ב לעלות ארצה. אני כותב את זה גם בעברית ל״יורדים״ שבארה״ב ולכל ישראלי החושב על ירידה.

 אתם טוענים שעליה לארץ ישראל אחרי פיגוע איבה היא כמו פחדן שבורח מהקרב להגן על הזכויות של היהודים לגור בארה"ב בשלום?

אם כן טוענים ככה אתם טועים. אלא עליה לארץ ישראל מולדתנו היחידה מראה לכל אומות העולם את האומץ שלכם דרך השקעת חייכם ולא רק כספיכם במולדתנו, במקום השקעת חייכם מקומות המגורים הזמניים שלנו אצל אומות העולם, כמו ארה"ב.

בעבר יהודים גם האמינו שהם אמורים לגור בשלום בספרד, פורטוגל, אנגליה, פולין, וכן, אפילו גרמניה.

למה אתם חושבים שארה"ב צריכה להיות שונה מהמדינות האלה? האם אתם באמת חושבים יש לכם יותר ביטחון שם משבארץ?

האם אתם לא אוהבים איך מתנהלים כאן? לחזור לארץ ולהתאמץ כדי לשנות את המצב כאן.

אתם מעדיפים את תרבות אמריקאית? תגורו בשכונה של דוברת אנגלית. יש הרבה. ראש הממשלה הנוכחי אפילו גר ברעננה. רעננה למשל היא מקום ידוע שיש באחוז גבוה של דוברי אנגלית.

האם אתה מאמין שאתה צריך ללכת לקולג' קודם? ההורים שלך מצפים ממך לקבל את "חתיכת הנייר?" בין אם זה הנדסת חשמל באוניברסיטת תל-אביב או פסיכולוגיה באוניברסיטת בר-אילן הסמוכה, ניתן ללמוד באנגלית. יש גם תוכנית MBA בשפה האנגלית בטכניון המפורסם בעולם. בדרך לבית הספר לרפואה? ניתן ללמוד במסלולי MD בשפה האנגלית בתל אביב, צפת ובאר שבע. ההזדמנויות האלה פשוט לא היו קיימות לפני 25 שנה. אז מה עוצר אותך?

שים את הציונות שלך במקום הפה שלך.

האם אתם מאמינים שחייבים ללמוד באוניברסיטה לפני העליה? ההורים שלכם מצפים ממכם לקבל את תואר ראשון לפחות? ניתן ללמוד הנדסת חשמל באוניברסיטת תל-אביב או פסיכולוגיה באוניברסיטת בר-אילן בשפה אנגלית. וגם יש תוכנית MBA בשפה האנגלית בטכניון המפורסם. ניתן ללמוד בשפה האנגלית בבתי ספר לרפואה (MD) בתל אביב, צפת ובאר שבע. הזדמנויות כאלה פשוט לא היו קיימות לפני 25 שנה. אז למה אתם מחכים?

האם אתם מתנגדים לציונות? הרבה מכם טוענים ששלוש השבועות מונעות ממכם מלהתיישב בישראל (תלמוד בבלי קדושין קי,ב-קיא,א)? המדרש הזה מדבר על עליה בחומה ולא דווקא על עליית היחיד. האמת היא אלפי חסידי סאטמר ונטורי קרתא מתגוררים בארץ ישראל. ולגבי סאטמר, רבי יואל מסאטמר זצ"ל בעצמו אמר שארץ ישראל היא המקום הראוי לקיים מצוות.

האם אתם מזדהים כשמאלנים גאים ואוהבי ערבים? אני גם מעודדים אותכם לעלות ארצה.

כמו כל משפחה אחרת אנחנו לא מסתדרים ביחד כל הזמן ובמאה אחוז. אבל יש לנו רק בית אחד, מולדת אחת, ארץ ישראל. לא ניו יורק לא לוס אנג׳לס ולא קליוויל, טקסס.

לא הדגל של מדינת טקסס
Not the Flag of Texas

YNET: Biden says Texas hostage taker committed act of terror
Speaking in Philadelphia, where he and his wife were to honor the legacy of slain civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr., U.S. President says hostage taker obtained weapons on the street after spending the night in a homeless shelter
Reuters | 01.16.22

U.S. President Joe Biden on Sunday said the gunman who took hostages had used weapons he got off the street to commit "an act of terror." (cont.)

Esser Agaroth (2¢):
Poway, Pittsburgh, Colleyville...

You remember these names, because they are being mentioned in the news. But, do you remember all of the other locations of terror attacks attacks Jews in the United States? How about Los Angeles, Seattle, and New York?

Are you actually considering the possibility that the taking of Jewish hostages in Colleyville, Texas did not stem from anti-Semitism Jew-hatred? If so, then you probably also believe that the "kindness" shown to the Ishmaelite terrorist, by giving him tea, is what saved them. And you probably also do not take any issue with referring to a graduate of Hebrew Union College as a "rabbi." Of course, by all means, call the Jewish hostage-taking venue a synagogue, since synagogue is a Greek word, ie. Hellenist. Even in Hebrew Beth Knesset suggests a "place of gathering," which this place technically is.

If you made aliyah (Jewish immigration to Israel) would you think that you were like a coward running away from a fight, fight to defend the rights of you and your fellow Jews to live peacefully in the U. S.?

Well you wouldn't be. Rather, you would be demonstrating your courage, by investing not only your money, but your lives, in the only true homeland of the Jewish People, instead of the temporary dwelling places of refuge of the nations, such as the U. S.

At various times in history, Jews also believed that they were supposed to live peacefully in Spain, Portugal, England, Poland, and yes, even Germany.

What makes you think that the U. S. is exempt? Because it's 2022, and you all have short memories? After all, the U. S. was born on one of the worse days commemorated in the Jewish calendar.

But suppose you have been to Israel, maybe even lived here for a time, and maybe even served in Israel's Defense Forces [IDF]. But, you don't like how things are run here?

Then come back, and work to change things.

Can't deal with a new and different culture than you're used to? Then live in an English speaking neighborhood. There are plenty. Even the current prime minister resides in Ra'anana, a city known for its English-speaking population. Language and culture aren't the same thing, but it's an option which may help you at first.

Do you believe you have to go to college first? Your parents expect you to get that "piece of paper?" Whether it is electrical engineering at Tel-Aviv University or Psychology at nearby Bar-Ilan University, you can study in English. There is also an English language MBA program at the world famous Technion. On your way to medical school? You can study in English language MD programs in Tel Aviv, Tzfat, and Be'er Sheva. These opportunities simply did not exist 25 years ago. So, what's stopping you?

Put your Zionism where your mouth is.

Do you identify as an anti-Zionist? Remember the Three Oaths (TB Qedudshin 110b-111a) you believe are preventing you from settling in Israel? Of course, you don't believe like Zionists [are supposed to] believe that either this midrash has been fulfilled, or that the nations violated their part, and so the contract, so to speak, is null and void. But, according to these oaths, mass aliya is addressed, but not that of individuals making their way to the Holy Land, per se. Thousands of Satmar Hassidim and Neturei Karta reside in the Eretz Yisrael (The Land of Israel). And speaking of Satmar, Rabbi Yoel of Satmar ztz"l himself said that Eretz Yisrael is the proper place for the performance of mitzvoth (commandments).

Do you see yourself as an Arab-loving, proud leftist? Believe it or not, I encourage you to relocate as well,...assuming you are actually Jewish, of course. Good luck trying to transform Israel into your own image, so to speak. Your birthrate is a far cry from those of Haredim (ultra-orthodox) and settlers. In other words, they produce more future voters than you. But, hey! You certainly have the self-perpetuating Israeli Supreme Court in your corner. That's for sure!

Like any other family we do not get along all the time and one hundred percent. But we have only one house, one homeland, the Land of Israel. Not New York, not Los Angeles, not Colleyville, Texas.

יהודים בטורקיה תעלו לארץ ישראל מייד!/Jews in Turkey, Move to Israel Now!

ג' לחודש החמישי תשע"ז

English follows the Hebrew.

YNET: ארדואן נגד ישראל: בתי כנסת נתונים למתקפה בטורקיה

הזירה הדתית מתלהטת: שני מקרים של הפגנות מאיימות ואף אבנים ובעיטות בדלתות בתי כנסת באיסטנבול בסוף השבוע. "או שהציונים ייקחו את עצמם בידיים, או שנחזור לפה", איים מנהיג מקומי - בזמן שהנשיא מתסיס סביב אירועי הר הבית

איתמר אייכנר: 23.07.17

תי הפגנות מאיימות ואף פעולות ונדליזם נגד בתי כנסת בטורקיה, שנראה כי יצאו לפועל בתמיכה שקטה של המשטר - בצל אירועי הר הבית, מדאיגות מאוד את הקהילה היהודית במדינה.

בלילה שבין חמישי לשישי התקיפו את בית הכנסת "נווה שלום" באיסטנבול עשרות מפגינים, השליכו אבנים לעבר בית הכנסת, בעטו בדלתותיו וניסו לפרוץ פנימה. המפגינים ביקשו למחות על הצבת המגנומטרים בהר הבית וקראו קריאות "אללה אכבר".

בכניסה לבית הכנסת נאם מנהיג מקומי של מפלגת "האיחוד הלאומי", קורסאט מיצ'אן, והאשים את ישראל ב"הטרדת אחינו הפלסטינים ופגיעה בחופש הפולחן שלהם". הוא הוסיף: "או שהציונים יקחו את עצמם בידיים, או שנחזור לפה שוב". חלק מהמפגינים צעקו "אם לא תיתנו לנו להיכנס למקום הקדוש שלנו, לא ניתן לכם להיכנס למקום הקדוש שלכם".

אחד המפגינים בעט בדלתות בית הכנסת, ושני מפגינים טיפסו על הדתות ותלו שלטים שעליהם תמונות של כיפת הסלע. בקהילה היהודית נדהמו מכך שזמן קצר לפני ההפגנה עזבה את המקום ניידת המשטרה שמאבטחת דרך קבע את בית הכנסת – שבעבר היה יעד לפיגועי טרור. (המשך...)

עשר אגורות (2¢):
האם אתם קראתם מספיק מהשטויות האלה? האם אתם עדיין רוצים לנסוע לטורקיה לחופש?

החלק הכי המצער הוא לא שהמוסלמים הטורקיים המחזיקים בסטנדרטים כפולים כאלה בלבם כמו הערבים כאן בארץ.

אלא החלק הכי המצער הוא שאנחנו, היהודים, עדיין מאמינים שאפשר לגור "בשלום" עם בני ישמעאל, פרא אדם, ולשיטות דיפלומטיות בסגנון תרבות המערב יש סיכוי להצליח להביא אותנו למצב של שלום איתם. אפילו שהשיטות כאלה לעולם לא הצליחו, חוץ מתקופות זמניות.

וגם הייתי אומר שעצוב מאוד שאנחנו היהודים עדיין לא נטשנו את העניין המגוחך של פלורליזם דמוקרטי. רוב היהודים, גם כאלה החובשי כיפות והמתגוררים בארץ ישראל, עדיין לא מוכנים לשמוע את זה, קל וחומר לא לקבל את זה.

והם טוענים שהעניין הזה מופיע בתורה? אם כן אז איפה? או הם סוף סוף הפסיקו לנסות להוכיח לפי התורה?

כשאני עליתי ארצה לפני 20 שנה, פגשתי כמה עולים חדשים מטורקיה שלמדו באוניברסיטה. אני הייתי עצוב כששמעתי שהרבה מהם "חזרו הביתה". האם המצב הנוכחי בטורקיה ישפיע להם לחזור לישראל ולהביא איתם יהודים אחרים? או הם יישארו בטורקיה, בתקווה שהמצב ישתפר, כלומר, עם ראשיהם בתוך בור בחול. וכשהמצב כן ישתפר, האם הם ישכחו בקלות את היום שבו בתי הכנסת שלהם הושחתו? ... למרות שזאת לא הפעם הראשונה, ובוודאי לא תהיה הפעם האחרונה.

הנשיא ארדואן

כמו שכתבתי כבר למעלה, שאר בכלל לשווה לכם לקרוא את שאר המאמר הזה של YNET, חוץ ממסקנתו:

נשיא טורקיה רג'פ טאיפ ארדואן גינה בשבת את "הפעולות המופרזות" שישראל עשתה בדיכוי ההפגנות כמחאה על הצבת המגנומטרים. ארדואן כינה את שלושת הפלסטינים שנהרגו במהומות "שהידים". הנשיא הטורקי נמנע מלגנות את רצח השוטרים בהר הבית וכינה את הפיגוע "תקרית".

נראה לי שאני כתבתי מספיק.

YNET: Jews in Turkey under attack over Temple Mount crisis
Temple Mount crisis escalates into religious rift abroad, as Muslims in Turkey block entry into, and vandalize synagogues, threatening to 'come back again' unless Israel changes its policy. 

Itamar Eichner, 23.07.17

Two threatening demonstrations and mounting cases of vandalism against synagogues in Turkey—apparently carried out with the regime's tacit support against the backdrop of the Temple Mount crisis—are raising concerns among the country's Jewish community.

On the night between Thursday and Friday, dozens of demonstrators attacked the Neve Shalom synagogue in Istanbul, threw rocks at the synagogue, kicked its doors and tried to break in.

Attacks in Turkey
At the entrance to the synagogue, a local leader of the Great Union Party, Korsat Michan, spoke out and accused Israel of "harassing our Palestinian brothers and damaging their freedom of worship."

"Either the Zionists get a grip, or we will come back here again," he said.

Some protesters shouted, "If you do not let us enter our holy place, we will not let you enter your holy place."

As protesters kicked the doors of the synagogue, two demonstrators climbed up the building and hung signs with pictures of the Dome of the Rock.

The Jewish community was stunned that the police patrol car—which regularly protected the synagogue as it is a target for terror attacks—had left the area shortly before the demonstration started. (cont.)

Esser Agaroth (2¢):
Read enough of this tripe? Do you still want to travel to Turkey for a vacation?

The sad part isn't that the Turkish Muslims, like their Arab counterparts, hold such double standards dear to their hearts.

The sad part is that we Jews still believe that will can live "in peace" with these animalistic descendants of Yishm'ael.

I would also say that it is also very sad that we Jews have not yet to abandon the ridiculous concept of democratic pluralism. But, most Jews, even those with kippoth and residing in Eretz Yisra'el (the Land of Israel) are not ready to hear this, let alone accept it.

Where do they claim such a concept can be found in the Torah anyway? Or have they finally stopped trying.

But, I digress...

When I arrived in Israel 20 years ago, I met some Turkish Jews who were attending university here. I sad to hear that many of them "returned home." Will the current situation motivate them to come back to Israel, and bring many other Turkish Jews with them? Or will they remain in Turkey, hoping that the situation will improve, in other words, with their heads in the sand. And when the situation does improve, will they so easily forget the day their synagogues with vandalized? ...even though this wasn't the first time, and certainly will not be the last.

The Jewish community was stunned that the police patrol car—which regularly protected the synagogue as it is a target for terror attacks—had left the area shortly before the demonstration started.

Will they be stunned the next time, and police car leaves the scene? Will they be stunned the next time, when the police car is involved in the attack?

President Erdoğan

Like I said, the remainder of this report is not worth reading, except perhaps the report's conclusion:

On Saturday, Erdogan condemned Israel's "excessive force" in suppressing the demonstrations in protest against the placement of the metal detectors, calling the Palestinians killed in the riots "martyrs." 

The Turkish president refrained from condemning the murder of policemen on the Temple Mount, calling the attack "an incident."

'Nuff said.

The Writing On The Wall

Yom Yerushalayim 5769

After the failed plot to bomb the Riverdale Jewish Center, I really don't understand why my fellow Jews in the U. S. don't see the writing on the wall, and get out already.

This is not the first, and it won't be the last. Right now, attacks in Los Angeles (1999), Seattle (2006), and San Francisco (2006) seem like ancient history, don't they? They seem few and far between. There doesn't seem to be much of a pattern here, does there?

How long will that last?

American Jews will tell me that I am crazy and alarmist. Others will tell me they must wait for Mashiah, before they leave galuth (the diaspora). They believe that HaShem took us into galuth, so only HaShem can take us out. They fact that there are several misswoth, and authorities which tell the opposite story, does not seem to be there concern.

Still other American Jews will tell me that if they leave America, then they will be letting the terrorists win.

If only we applied that attitude in Israel; we would be invisible.

Don't you get it? America is NOT your home. You belong here in Israel. The economic problems, worries about finding a job, learning a new language, and interacting with Jews of several cultures completely different from your own, are totally irrelevant.

Get out while you still can.

*********

See more at SHUVA - The Emergency Aliyah Movement

Sovereignty In Israel

17 of the Twelfth Month 5769

Sovereignty In Israel
Yoel Meltzer
Shushan Purim 5796/March 12, 2009

Commenting on the role the sovereign nation state plays in the Western world vis-a-vis its role in the Islamic world, Samuel P. Huntington states: "The structure of political loyalty among Arabs and among Muslims generally has been the opposite of that in the modern West. For the latter the nation state has been the apex of political loyalty." He then adds, "In addition, the idea of sovereign nation states is incompatible with belief in the sovereignty of Allah and the primacy of the ummah." (Huntington, The Clash of Civilizations and The Remaking of World Order, pp. 174-175)

Thus, while in the West the concept of the sovereign nation state has enormous importance, yet the idea of loyalty or belonging to a larger Pan-Anglo western nation has no relevance, in the Islamic world the situation is exactly the opposite.

Following this brief analysis of the West and Islam, it is rather interesting to consider the Jewish perspective. For just as in the case of the Jewish calendar, which is a combination of the lunar (used in Islam) and the solar (used in Christianity), so too here. In other words, for the Jewish people, like in Islam, there is the concept of the broader nation, am Yisrael, while at the same time, like in the West, there is significance to the sovereign nation state, the Jewish state of Israel. Since much has already been written about the problems facing the Jewish nation - specifically the divisions within Israeli society as well as Israel's relations vis-a-vis Jews living outside of Israel - I would like to focus here on the concept of the sovereign nation state. Specifically: How much sovereignty does Israel really have on a political level, and how is sovereignty perceived amongst the Israeli populace?

On the national political level, Israel certainly has some degree of sovereignty. Unlike the situation 2,000 years ago, when Israel was physically living under Roman rule, today Israel has its own state institutions such as a parliament, court system, army, etc. Moreover, Israel maintains diplomatic, cultural and economic relations with countries throughout the world, participates in a variety of international forums, is a member of the United Nations, and more. However, despite the outer appearance of full sovereignty, the last 15-20 years have told another story.

In a progressively more blatant manner, the upper echelon of Israel's political leaders have more or less said, both in words and in actions, that Israel must do as America says, regardless of whether or not this action is good for the Jewish state. Be it in reaction to Palestinian acts of terror, the nature and length of wars in Lebanon and Gaza, the sale of military equipment to China, etc., the deciding factor is whether or not we have the 'green light' from America. Similarly, the near consensus to work towards the creation of a Palestinian state, the 'two-state solution', is sheepishly moved forward with hardly a dissenting voice, despite the obvious dangers to all, simply because this is what America wants.

Apparently for many reasons, chief among them most likely economic and political, Israel's leadership is hesitant, if not frightened, to go against the will of America. They simply fear the consequence of going against a superpower, even one which is relatively losing it dominance compared to other powers in the world. Nonetheless, and despite whatever rationalizations they might have, many of which might be justifiable for various reasons, their open display of unabashed adherence to the demands of American leadership questions the whole notion of our true political sovereignty.

Another example that brought this question to the forefront was witnessed in the recent elections. Rather than seriously addressing the Israeli public about real issues and problems, the leading candidates invested a lot of time trying to prove who would work better with President Barack Obama. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with having good relations with America and its president; however, when this becomes a central issue in Israeli national elections, then certainly our whole status as a sovereign nation state becomes rather suspect.

Regarding the Israeli public, since their consciousness and mindset is heavily influenced by the words and actions of the ruling political establishment, it should come as no surprise as to how they feel. Although many will initially express statements and offer suggestions that appear to be more beneficial to the Jewish state than those that are heard from the political leadership, nonetheless they'll frequently end such discussions by saying that "America will not allow us to do such and such". For, similar to the political leaders, they can't imagine that we could actually do something which is in our best national interest without receiving the 'green light' from America. Once again, none of this is a surprise, since the Israeli public does not live in a vacuum. They are heavily influenced by the country's leadership, as well as by the messages and ideas that are continuously transmitted to them by way of the heavily biased media.

Clearly then, according to most Israelis, the concept of having true political sovereignty is either considered unrealistic or is simply not thought about at all. Perhaps the time has come for Israel to start thinking about this concept in a more serious manner. The world is changing and America's status as the lone superpower is becoming reduced; a change that will surely affect America's relations with many countries in the world, including Israel. Moreover, as America is forced to pursue policies in this part of the world that are in its best interest in order to save its teetering economic and political empire, it is safe to assume that some of these policies will be detrimental to Israel. Obviously, America is not to blame since America must, and rightly so, worry first and foremost about the needs of America. That's the role of any truly sovereign state.

The point here is not that Israel should 'switch allegiance' to another world power, be it Russia or China, but rather it should start taking notice of changing events and start looking inward. Such dependency on, and faithful compliance with, another country, no matter what the policies of that country may be regarding Israel, will not help Israel to develop the internal strength that it so badly needs in order to deal with the host of complex issues and problems that it faces. Moreover, although it might be true that at this particular moment in time Israel cannot simply act as a 100% truly sovereign state and only do what is in its best interest, regardless of what the rest of the world might say, nonetheless Israel needs to start thinking in this direction. Changes in the physical realm are frequently preceded by, and are a direct result of, changes in the way one thinks, be it as an individual or as a nation. Finally, if Israel ever truly desires to fulfill its unique role in the world, then it will have no choice but to start thinking about itself differently, and to realize why true sovereignty is in fact needed in order to fulfill this role.

Islam Is Not Immune

Mossa'ei Shabbath Qodesh Parshath Ki Thezei 5768

All around certain neighborhoods in Jerusalem, and all through my long journey home every night from work, through the "oppressed and occupied [by Arabs] territories," I see these tacky Ramadan, crescent-shaped decorations, hanging in windows. I do not remember seeing them in previous years. But it is possible I am just blocking out their memory.

Anyway, I cannot help but laugh when I see them. Now it seems that not even Arabs are immune from the tacky materialism of holiday money-making. I used to think this was a tacky Western thing, or a tacky American thing. Apparently, Islam is not immune.



Now, I have to admit that all of these crescent moon decorations strung together look kind of cheery. Although, I suppose the same could be said for a Hamas summer camp for kids....



Also, "cheery" (I guess) are these traditional lamps. But they ARE pretty tacky looking. I distinctly remember seeing news stories in previous years which included the display of these cool looking aluminum lamps, which are given as Ramadan gifts. What happened? I mean the lamps pictured here are REALLY tacky looking.

Now before anyone criticizes me for hypocrisy, let me just say that there are some very cool Sukkoth decorations you can get for a reasonable price. They can also be put away and saved for future holidays, as they are of classic design and content.

Yes, I even like to string lights in my Sukkah, as long as they are not the flashing kind, which ARE very tacky. You can buy them in the Ge'ulah neighborhood in Jerusalem. Just don't tell anyone what the "Luces Feliz Navidad" on the label means. (wink) They are not tacky; they are cool! They also come in a variety of shapes, like chili peppers. (Not sure where to get those, though)

But I digress...

Here's a Ramadan joke to cap off this post for all of my Muslim friends... Oh, that's right; I don't have any.

So, here's a Ramadan joke to cap off this post for all of my Muslim enemies. Sorry, but it's not really offensive. I tried. Honestly, I did.

When I was in Me'ah Sha'arim for Shabbath a few years ago during Ramadan, I noticed that there were two night time cannon blasts which went off about an hour apart. The cannon blast, of course, signifies official "night time," informing Muslims that they may now break their daily, daytime fast.

The sound of two cannon blasts about an hour apart puzzled me. So, I asked my friend, a Yeshiva Mashgiah and in whose house I was staying if he happened to know the significance of the two cannon blasts.

His response?

"The second cannon blast is for those Muslims who hold by Rabbenu Tam."

Yuck, yuck, yuck...

A New Religion?

Purim Qatan le'Muqafin 5768

A friend of mine, a rabbi who lives in Me'ah Sha'arim neighborhod in Jerusalem found himself with a broken down car in, of all places, Sacramento, the capital of the State of California.

Dressed in traditional, hasidishe Yerushalmi, black hat and coat, he stood outside a garage, talking with the mechanic about the prognosis of his car. After the conversation, he overheard two on-lookers discussing his presence.

"What religion do you suppose HE is?"

"Why he must be a Moslem Catholic."

What on earth is a Moslem Catholic? I am a native Californian, and for the life of me, I haven't a clue. The only answer I can possibly come up with for the astute conclusion of the Hakhamei Sacramento, based solely on my friend's livush (garb), is that,....well,...this was after all in Sacramento.

For those of you who do not know Sacramento, it doesn't have the reputation, neither for being the most exciting place to visit, nor having the highest number of Harvard graduates living in close proximity,...if you get my drift.

Never the less, said friend and I have immensely enjoyed spending time, discerning what the practices must be of this ancient religion, steeped in centuries of tradition.

1. Which way should one face during Communion, toward Rome or Mecca? Neither. The seat of the Moslem Catholic religion is Sacramento, the place of its founding. The same goes for the direction of bowing during prayer.

2. Communion is done grape juice, as it is non-alcoholic.

3. The head of the Moslem Catholic religion is the "Popimam."

4. If Christmas falls during Ramadan, as it did nine years ago, festive meals are held only at night.

5. The same applies for Easter, yet there is no such thing as an Easter ham.

6. The official position of the Moslem Catholic religion on the Middle East is: "We wish our brethren in Ohio only peace and prosperity, and are willing to defend them in a war, if Pennsylvania ever decides to attack."

7. Higher education is frowned upon,...obviously.

Are there any customs I am forgetting? Please let me know by leaving a comment.

A Non-Offensive(?) Ramadan Joke

Hol HaMo'ed Sukkoth 5768

Last year, I was in the Me'ah Sha'arim neighborhood of Jerusalem during much of the Fall haggim. The Seventh Month (Tishrei) coincided with the Muslim month of Ramadan, during which Muslims fast during daylight hours. A cannon fired in the evening indicates the time when it is permissible for them to eat.

That year, I clearly recall hearing a second cannon fired a good 45 minutes to an hour after the first. I asked my friend if he knew what the second cannon was for.

But, then I realized was it for on my own. The second fired much later after sunset were for the Muslims who hold by Rabbenu Tam.

להבדיל

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Rabbenu Tam is well-known for many of his rulings on Jewish Law, including his stringent ruling regarding when Shabbath ends.