Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Top Ten Pretentious Hang-Outs In Jerusalem

י"ט לחודש הרביעי תשע"ג

Emeq Refa'im: The main street runnin
through the German Colony neighborhood
10. Shosh Café in Rechavia
Generic Rechavia pretension.

9. The Village Green on Yaffo Street
Look how frum and healthy I am, and look at me talking very loudly about health and kashruth,...without too much concern for the amount I am inhaling.

8. Greens in Sha'arei Hessed
Pretension for frum families. Overpriced for one, and only one, reason: It is located in Sha'arei Hessed. Wearing your shortest skirt and longest sheitel is a must!

7. Sushi Rechavia on Emeq Refaim
The modestly-priced place to be seen,...dining outside.

"Aroma Espresso Bar"
6. Aroma Café on Hillel (Open on Shabbos)
Look at how hard I'm studying, while I sneak a peek once in a while at a potential sexual conquest.

5. Aroma Café on Har HaTzofim-Hebrew University
Ashkenazy and "Ashkenized," secular elite in training.

4. Aroma Café on Emeq Refa'im
OK. So, by now you should have figured out that most anyplace on Emeq Refa'im is pretentious, mostly for tourists, and "one-year Israelis."

3. Most Any English-speaking Schul in Qatamon
Um, surprises here. Just get over it.... 

P. S. "Shtieblach," just like "gush," is an IMPERSONAL noun, not a personal one.

2. Coffee Shop on Azza
Kind of like Aroma, but with more computers, and a closed out smoking section.

And the most pretentious hang-out in Jerusalem is...

1. Tahanat HaCafe ("The Coffee Mill") on Emeq Refa'im
Pretension so thick, it can be cut with a knife. Self-importance and leftist arrogance are gross understatements.


Please leave a comment with your recommendation for pretentious hang-outs in Jerusalem.


Batya said...

That's why you should spend your evenings and nights at haGov, the Lion's Den, 5 Yoel Solomon Street.

Anonymous said...

how about tmol shilshom?
Menorah 8 (formally known as Reshimu)

Shy Guy said...

I always appreciate your blog but perhaps a bit too much cynicism and nastiness? Especially Bein Hametzarim. Perhaps?

Esser Agaroth said...

Batya, I'll have to check it out.

Aharon, I haven't been to TS in ages, way before it was a candidate for pretentious, so I don't know. Great Velvety Carrot Soup, though!

Shy Guy, Thanks. Hmmm.... Maybe.... I have come to trust your judgment, to the extent that I almost always agree with your comments on everyone's blog. So, I will definitely think about postponing my "I am a feminist" post. You can only imagine....

OTOH, waking Jews up to what's important, and what's not (to the extent that I am successful, and maybe I'm not at all) I'm not so sure is a bad thing, even now, and even if I held to the 3 wks' restrictions (The Ramba"m is silent on them.). Tammuz is a low place, building up to Av, with Ellul the culmination of Teshuva, offered for Tishrei, and celebrated during Tishre (Sukkoth).

IOW, the process begins in Tammuz, with the breaking of the luhoth, due to A"Z. These days, we have various kinds of A"Z. Being nice to fellow Jews, especially to those with whom I disagree is important. However, once in a while, we (I) all need a wake-up call, kick in the pants.

Maybe I erred, but not more than 50%.

The answer to "sinath hinam," may be believe is "ahavath hinam." Yet, let us all recall that TB Yoma 9b has a bottom part to it (ie. an alternative reason), in addition to the top part.


So, you are definitely not wrong in making this comment. I hope you will continue to take the time to do so again in the future. Please do not at all think that you wasted your time here.

I just need to think about it some more.

Esser Agaroth said...

I almost forgot. I intend to do a "hidden gems" post for balance.

Send in your ideas, like Batya.

I already have eight on my list!

Anonymous said...

I appreciate the way you responded to shy guy's comment. As you often say, "Judaism is not only Shabbat and Kashrut questions". It also covers how to speak about our fellow Jews. If the point of this blog is to "wake up" people in a galut mentality to have a have Torah values, kal v'chomer we must make rebuttals in a way consistent with Jewish values.

Esser Agaroth said...

Aharon, Thanks. Agreed.

You Might Also Like...