Whether it's a $4,000 sheitl, a trip to Miami, or where to send the kids to school, giving into your wife is NOT shalom bayit.
It fact, this shalom bayit myth is one of the fundamental reasons this blog was founded.
The female dominated shadkanut industry, the so called "rebbetzins" in women's "sems," the emotionally castrated men who allow themselves to be walked all over like doormats, and their rabbeim are to blame for this ab
The word rebbetzin was not even used as extensively or how it is used now, as recently as 15 years ago. It is another piece of evidence of the growing infiltration of feminism into the Litvish world. The liberal movements of Judaism make no bones about how they hold regarding the role of women in their communities.
The Litvish world, on the other hand, flatly denies the existence of their defacto, female "rabbis" and "poskot" halacha, even though they are glaring us in the face!
They debate halakhot, which are not shayach to women at all, with their male shidduch clients, successfully manipulating them, because their husbands are in complete denial of the seriousness of what their wives are doing, their denial stemming from this very myth regarding shalom bayit.
Their rabbeim tell them to "pull their noses out of their wives business, and stick it into a sefer where it belongs."
Furthermore, this approach is disrespectful to women.
Men and men should discuss things PRIVATELY, not making a scene in front of guests, yet another strategy of manipulation women sometimes employ. Of course, something else the "shadkaniot" don't tell you. It's the MAN's responsibility to educate his wife. The man is the man of the house, not the other way around. The wife follows HIS customs. How can she know his customs, unless he educates her?
Maybe some women like being ignored, as long as they get everything they want. But, we at the Yiddishe believe that women have more substance than that, at least the women who are worth marrying.
Those men with their noses in a sefer, as a means of escape, are living in a world, completely devoid of reality.