Saturday, May 09, 2009

The Most Un-Jewish Things Of All

Mossa'ei Shabbath Qodesh Parshath Emor 5769

12. Bright Magenta Hair

11. Calling New York a holy city

10. The Meretz Party
(Like my Photoshopping?)

9. Uncovered Married Women's Hair
(Women who know better, take heart; women who don't, please talk to a rav.)

8. Black, Brimmed Hats

7. Neckties
(Croatian origins)

6. Hyphenated Surnames

5. Surnames period
(Try "son of"/"daughter of," your profession, HaKohen, HaLevi - if applicable, or even "from..." )

4. A non-Hebrew First Name

(I guess Aramaic is OK,...sort of.)

3. Inviting Christians to live in Israel

2. Mens' Wedding bands

1. Mustaches

List your favorite un-Jewish things below in the comments section!


Sam Sokol said...

HEY. My pa had a mustache.

rutimizrachi said...

Ouch. I had to leave before the coming multiple flamings burned my head-covering off. You're a brave if foolish lad, EA. Have fun. Bring marshmallows. :-)

Esser Agaroth said...

Samuel, I am glad you wrote, because it gives me the opportunity to say the my critique of ideas, behaviors, and inanimate objects, not people.

Ruti, Are you saying you anticipate negative and volatile responses to this post? I think you might be right, assuming people actually read it.

What was my motivation? To wake people up, and give 'em a kick in the pants, not that I don't need one too once in a while regarding other issues.

mother in israel said...

11. Writing in English.
12. Using Twitter.
13. Using the Internet.

Esser Agaroth said...


Are you just being sarcastic, and pointing out how judgmental and hypocritical you think I'm being?

{I don't want to put words in your mouth. Let me know.}

It is a pretty judgmental post.

I was thinking that the three things you mention could very much be used as tools to teach Judaism, Torah, etc.

I can't argue about the "writing in English" part. Of course, bloggers in English want to get our "Jewish" message out, no? -- even to those who do not [yet] speak Hebrew.

Does it help that I'm talking about things and not people?

For example, a woman who doesn't cover her hair is not "not Jewish." Maybe she's a BT, and not ready to take that on yet, and doing the best she can.

However, I do not apologize for stating that a married woman who knows better, and doesn't cover her hair is doing something not Jewish.

Jacob Da Jew said...

Smack Smack.

Hey, I love my wedding band, ok? And I'm Jacob Da Jew!

I simply "love" how you're trying hard to piss everyone off- from black hats to wedding bands.

Esser Agaroth said...

Me? Trying to piss everyone off?

Just trying to wake everyone up.

You can love your wedding band all you want, but that doesn't make it Jewish.

Is this Brooklyn boy trying to get rough with someone whose braved walking through South Central {LA} at 2:00am?

Try again.


Batya said...

I'll add a wreath or dead flowers on a grave.

My father, may he live and be well as he approaches 89, who isn't religious at all, once took me to his father's grave, pointed to the bushes growing and said that Jews don't bring dead plants.

Esser Agaroth said...

Good addition, Batya.

rickismom said...

Loved the photoshop....

You can add to the list:
-gravestones with pictures of the deceased

Esser Agaroth said...

Yep. True. I remember the first time I visited Har Hertzl. Those photos were chalked up to the "Russian culture of mourning mothers."