Special 3rd Day of Purim for Walled Cities 5768
OK. This was the last straw. Rafi G. got his waffles personally delivered, as did Joe Settler.
I issued the following warning:
"Jameel? Jack? I know where the money's hidden; I know where the bodies are buried. YOU DO NOT WANT TO MESS WITH ME!"
...but to no avail. My warning was not heeded. Thus I have no choice but to exact revenge.
I will now reveal Jameel's secret identity and location. Jameel is none other than... No, really! It's true, and I can prove it! First, notice the uncanny resemblance between these spy photos stolen from Joe and Rafi respectively, and Bugs Bunny's official face shot. (See how effectively the hat covers up his ears?) Second, the gimatriah qetannah of Jameel Rashid is "5," and that of Bugs Bunny is "3." Both names contain 2 words. 2 plus 3 equals 5! The third bit of evidence comes from Bugs Bunny's star on the Hollywood "Walk Of Fame." The star has 5 points, the gimatriah qetannah of Jameel's name. Fourthly, the star is located in Los Angeles, the location of Jack. Jack is in the "Valley" where North Hollywood is. The star is in Hollywood. See how the pieces of the puzzle are coming together? By extension, this had led me to the implication of The Holy Hyrax in the conspiracy. Why? He's an Angelino, just like Jack. I don't know how he's involved in the conspiracy, but I know he is. We San Diegans learn early on in life not to trust Angelinos.
But, I digress....
Jameel Rashid, or rather Bugs, lives in none other than K'far Shmaryahu, next door to Shulamit Eloni YSh"W, widely known for her wearing of a halter top through the streets of Me'ah Sha'arim, in order to "make a point." (eyes rolling) Apparently, Shulamit doesn't get any waffles either. Jameel, you are truly evil, denying a former minister in the Israeli government her waffles! Have you no shame?!
If you don't care about me and Shulamit, then at least think of Batya. She was very upset at not receiving her waffles. Gila and Baila didn't either. I'll bet you stopped by Treppenwitz, and even DHL'd waffles to Ezzie.
You know what, Jameel? I don't even want your stupid, lousy waffles anymore! I'll bet their awful! Don't even THINK of coming over to my house, even though you have been invited several times, to deliver me any waffles. I do not want them! (Let's see if the Paradoxical Injunction -- that's the misnomer of "reverse psychology" to you silly lay-people -- will work!)
I'll get that Jameel, one way or another!