Sunday, August 15, 2010

Ten Reasons You Know You're Israeli

6 of the Sixth Month 5770

Don't forget to see Top 12 Reasons To Live In Israel!

You know that you're Israeli when...

10. You go to a restaurant, and the waitress automatically gives you a menu in Hebrew, not in English.

9. You ask for extra zhug (or arisah, etc.) with your food, and it's still not spicy enough.

8. Someone pulls up next to you in his car to ask for directions, another Israeli standing next to you beats you to the punch, and gives the directions instead. Then you say “Lo, lo, lo...,” and give alternative directions. And THEN, the Israeli who gave the original directions ends up agreeing with you, and tells the driver of the car that your directions are better.

7. You “just want to ask a quick question” at a government office, the clerk ends up taking care of your issue before everyone else in line, AND no one in line complains to you about it.

6. Your te'udath zehuth (identification card) becomes worn and damaged, and no one cares, because the number and enough of the photo are still recognizable.

5. Israelis stop accusing you of smiling too much, an American.

4. You get caught with a new computer at customs, and convince Ahi (“my brother”) the customs agent, to let you go through without declaring it.

3. Your Israeli roommate believes that you are more effective at dealing with your Israeli landlord, and has you talk to him instead. (What a minute! Does that make me Israeli, or a freier?)

2. You hear Americans talking about you in English, and think that you do not understand what they're saying.

And the number one reason you know you're Israeli is when...

1. You eat raw tehinah (sesame butter) directly out of the jar, instead of peanut butter, for a late night snack. (Do Israelis even do that?)


rutimizrachi said...

Okay -- I'm not giving up smiling too much; I LIKE being a freier because it gets results (believe it or not); so I'm never going to get handed a Hebrew menu. But I'm workin' on the other seven items on the list. Thanks for setting some goals. :-)

Esser Agaroth said...

Thanks for stopping by!

the sabra said...

Haaaaaaa I love this list!

Esser Agaroth said...

Thanks, everybody!

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