Tuesday, October 06, 2009

B'nei No'ah?

3 d'Hol HaMo'ed Sukkoth 5770

Tomer Devorah pointed me to this story and video.
Four New Noahides Welcomed into the Fold in Jerusalem
17 Tishrei 5770/October 5, 2009 10:31 PM

(IsraelNN.com) The nascent Sanhedrin’s court for Noahides - Torah-believing non-Jews - held a ceremony this week in which four Gentiles declared their acceptance of the Seven Laws of Noah....





I have a number of questions I would like to have answered.

First of all, here is one for Israel National News: Into what "fold" are you referring?

And now, for the "Sanhedrin" and recent "inductees:"
*Video time markers are in (blue italics).
Did anyone explicitly tell them that Christianity is a forbidden belief and practice? (Mishnah Torah, Hil. Avodah Zarah 9:4)

What does this guy mean when he says he's a "believer?" A believer in what? (0:47, See Tomer Devorah's take on this.)

He also said he was declared a "righteous gentile." Who said they were righteous? Simply because they are doing what they are supposed to be doing, and most gentiles are not? (1:08)

He also said that all Christians should do this. (1:12) Do what? Get declared as a Ben No'ah? As a Christian? The two things are NOT compatible.

They were not declared Ger Toshav.

Did anyone tell them they are not allowed to live here?

Who says the laws aren't good anymore? (2:01)

Ben No'ah is a denomination now? Denomination of what? (2:18, 3:31)

The Torah is for everyone? (3:26) Certainly NOT the Oral Torah.

Perhaps you think I am being mean? Well, any true Ben No'ah will not mind the scrutiny, and even welcome it.

Monday, October 05, 2009

Haveil Havalim #237 - The Sukkoth 5770 Edition

Hol HaMo'ed Sukkoth 5770

Just when you thought you've seen everything....


What no introduction?? Wasn't that photo enough of an introduction??

For some reason, my Sukkoth is turning out to be a bit unusual. I've really been letting the massive influx of Christians get to me. The only issue about which I believe leftists are on target is the threat of these people. (Actually, we "extremist" settlers can be stricter than leftists when it comes to protecting the environment, but ssshhhh, don't tell anyone.) Why, one Christian even tried to something into this edition,...about Hallah, of all things. Fortunately, I got suspicious, and decided to do a search for the name of his false deity, and sure enough....

But, I digress....

This is supposed to be a happy pappy holiday edition. Or is it? Who said I have to make this a holiday edition? Hosts get to use their discretion, right?

The truth is that this is a holiday edition. But, don't forget, we're Jews. Missiles, anti-Semitism, and for that matter cancer (see below) do not take time off on our holidays, not to mention the insipid illness know as Tishrei Depression. That last one is kind of like December Depression, but for Jews, and completely unrelated to freezing weather.

But, because it is a holiday, this edition is being published, only after Yom Tov goes out completely, for the vast majority of Jews in the world. Besides next week, this will be the last time a situation like this one, Haveil Havalim coinciding with Yom Tov, until Shavu'oth 5772 (2012), at which time I encourage the Fearless Carnival Leader to cancel it for that week, or postpone its release date until Tuesday, 8 Sivan. We don't officially publish editions on Yom Tov in Israel. Why should we when it's still Yom Tov outside of Israel? (Pesah 5772 will fall on Shabbath, as well as Sunday for those in hutz laAretz. HH can released that Sunday night, if hosted by a hutznik.)

Food for thought...

Hag Same'ah.
Founded by Soccer Dad, Haveil Havalim is a carnival of Jewish blogs -- a weekly collection of Jewish & Israeli blog highlights, tidbits and points of interest collected from blogs all around the world. It's hosted by different bloggers each week and coordinated by Jack. The term 'Haveil Havalim,' which means "Vanity of Vanities," is from Qoheleth, (Ecclesiastes) which was written by King Solomon. King Solomon built the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and later on got all bogged down in materialism and other 'excesses' and realized that it was nothing but 'hevel,' or in English, 'vanity.'
Torah

The Rabbi On The Beach comments on Parashath Ha'azinu in An Elephant Never Forgets, But People Do.

Ge'ulah Girl at also comments on Parashath Ha'azinu on The Key To Redemption blog. Will we listen to her warning? Or will we let it fall on deaf ears?

Yechezkel's The Nefesh (keshura) B'Nefesh Proposal - Is her "I Do" a Done Deal? posted at Achas L'Maala V'Sheva L'Matta gets my vote this week for hidden gem. Yechezkel reminds us that there are differences between Jewish and non-Jewish ways of doing things, even though we forget sometimes.

The Rebbetzin's Husband presents Teaching Torah - It And About It.

Allison Josephs, the Jew In The City, reminds us why You Gotta Have Faith, Faith, Faith....

Haggim
(Holidays)

Hag HaSukkoth

First and foremost, the First JBloggers Jerusalem Picnic! starts in only a few hours in Gan Sackar, a park which is only a 15 minute walk from the central bus station. Click the link for more information from RivkA at Coffee And Chemo.

Ari Goldwag at Geulah Perspectives presents Succos, Willows, and Water. Haven't you ever wondered about the "water libation ceremony," the water drawing festival, the willow ceremony that was done in the Temple, and what these have to do with Succoth? Check out this post to find out the answer. (podcast)

The Velveteen Rabbi presents Permeable: A Poem For Sukkot. (includes an audio version)

Jacob Richman provides us with Educational Resources for Sukkot at his Good News from Israel blog.

"An etrog with a gartel and a pedigree?" Find out what Isramom means by this in No Such Thing As Coincidence!

Here's the link to the cute video of Heshy "Frum Satire" Fried Lulav And Etrog Shopping In Crown Heights. Before you watch, please note that I paid only NIS 115 ($30.73) for everything. $250 for an ethrog in Crown Heights? Try only $13.36 in Jerusalem,...yet another reason to make aliyah.

David at Israelity warns of the influx Gazan Lulavs into Israel to cover the "shortage."

Yom HaKippurim

David at The Reform Shuckle shares his Yom Kippur experience praying in the Upper West Side of Manhattan in his High Holiday Sampler Plate Adventure? series.

Shira at On The Fringe shares her experience in Near Tears At Morning Minyan.

Morey Altman at Solid Rock Writing gives us his Yom Kippur thoughts in the form of a poetical essay entitled Atonement.

Homeschuling teaches her first-grader about The Book Of Life.

Benji Lovitt at What War Zone??? spent part of his Yom Kippur being interrogated by the Israeli prime minister's security service. I kid you not.

Israel

In The News

Batya at Shiloh Musings brings us Pretty Dumb Deal, in which she comments on the deal made which includes the releasing of female terrorists for information regarding whether Gil'ad Shalit is still alive or not.

Eric
at The Israel Situation has the details posted in 20 Prisoners For A Video.

Debbie Schussel give her perspective on the situation in Shut Up: Stop Calling for Gilad Shalit’s (& a Gazillion Terrorists’) Release.

Ariel at The Torah Revolution comments on the riots on the Temple Mount.

The Hashmonean gives us the run down on how Iranians and Arabs marked Yom Kippur in Unrepentant Jew.

Shmu'el at Torat Yisrael reports on the Destruction Of Giv'at Sefer.

Current Events


Daniel Ben-Shmu'el
at The Jewish Fist tires to warn us about an infiltration in Israel in Reflections On "Black [Non] Hebrews." (podcast) We will listen? Or will his warning also fall on deaf ears?

Jewish Israel exposes the missionary activities behind the International Christian Embassy's [ICEJ] Tabernacles celebrations in Israel in A Guide For Those Perplexed Over ICEJ's Feast.

Tomer Devorah wants us to Wake Up Seek The Rofeh Holim. With the continued Christian infiltration into the Land, and duping of the "settlers," so do I.

Yisrael at My Right Word has one of the only posts I have seen on the "Goldstone Report" worth posting. Everyone's talking about this stupid thing, which tells me that the majority of Am Yisrael is still way too worried about what the goyim think. I mean, who cares already? Still, you should check out Yisrael's New Word: Goldstoned.

Here's the other one: Senate Fights Goldstone Report, from Eric at The Israel Situation.

Also, here's his letter correcting a false portrayal of history in the Jerusalem Post, concerning the Chaim Arlosoroff Affair.

Ariel at The Torah Revolution lets the Jewish Telegraph Agency have it about its lying about Jewish "settlers," in his open Letter To JTA.

Schvach Yid doesn't sound too optimistic about a possible attack on Iran. Ask him what his alternative is to Taking The Bait Again. (Don't get me wrong. He makes some good points.)

Lady-Light at Tikkun Olam Banishes The Darkness With The Truth, as she reports on a previous contact between Prime Minster Netanyahu and the late Lubavitcher Rebbe.

Covering an unpleasant, yet important, topic, Rabbi Yosef Blau guest posts at Tzedek-Tzedek. In Rabbis Dealing With Abuse, Rabbi Blau questions the advisability of rabbis dealing with child abuse. As a mental health practitioner, I must disagree with him, albeit I am probably in the minority. Rabbi Blau makes excellent points which must be addressed, yet appears to deal with the symptoms of the problem, and not with the roots of the problems within the system.

Ricki's Mom , writing on Beneath The Wings demonstrates how to be pro-active in the prevention of child abuse and exploitation. She describes this in The Little Kid At The Door. (blogging in October for Down Syndrome Awareness)

Life In Israel

Benji at What War Zone??? brings us Israel is a Dangerous Place: Reason #82. He claims that there's a monster on the loose in Jerusalem! Plus, he makes a birthday request to all of us.

Elder Of Ziyon painstakingly (LOL) sifted through countless photos of Esti Ginzburg to cap off his piece on The IDF's Supermodel. (pritzus alert!)

Are you ready for some very different music at a Jewish wedding? Yisrael takes us for a ride in the "Wayback Machine," or so it seems. Yisrael, you're dating yourself.... "And you thought we weren't normal people beyond the Green Line." ;-)

David at Israelity takes us to the Leonard Cohen concert in Hallelujah!

Mrs. S. at Our Shiputzim gives us a tiyul suggestion (with photos) in National Parks: Ir David Edition.

Batya also brings us a photo at Me-Ander in Still Life In Action,...reflecting on renovations.

Toby at A Time Of The Signs reminds us about an important "Israeli" meal staple, which many Americans can relate to in That's The Way Uh-Huh Uh-Huh They Like It.

Babylonia
(That's what I'm calling anywhere outside of Israel these days. Here's why.)

Life Outside Of Israel

The Rebbetzin's Husband reviews Mitch Albom's book Have A Little Faith.

Check out who Just Call Me Chaviva met in A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words.

A Simple Jew hints to What Is Going On Behind The Scenes? (...of his blog)

Meir, posting at the B'nai Elim Blog, Exposes The Israel Haters At York University.

Alissa Altman at N: Aliyah presents the Pink For Pareve initiative with In The Pink. It's a cute idea to raise awareness about a serious issue. Don't forget, October is "Breast Cancer Awareness Month."

Mattias
(It's red and it's a herring. Get it? Just for the fun of it....)

Super Power Meme

Here's a list of some of the participants in the Super Power Meme which has been going around:

Wrap-Up
Well, that's a wrap for Edition #237!

Haveil Havalim Blog CarnivalDon't forget that you can already start submitting your posts for next week's edition which will be hosted by Jack. For your convenience, bookmark this link to Haveil Havalim's on-line submission form. See past editions and who is hosting future editions by clicking here. If you would like to host, contact Jack at talktojacknow (at) sbcglobal (dot) net.

Check out the latest edition of the Kosher Cooking Carnival at Me-Ander. Batya hits a grand slam, having hosting all three Jewish Blog Carnivals in September. You can submit posts for the 9 Heshwan/Oct. 27 edition hosted by Miriam in her Israeli Kitchen, via the on-line submission form.

JPix Blog CarnivalAnd don't forget to submit your favorite photos to the JPix Blog Carnival. Yep. The current edition is hosted by Batya at Me-Ander. You may submit your photos for the 6 Teveth/Dec. 23 edition via the on-line submission form. It'll be hosted by Leora at Here In HP.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Haveil Havalim #236 Is Up!

Erev Yom Kippur 5770

Haveil Havalim #236 is up at Benji Lovitt's What War Zone??? blog!

It's the Pre-Yom Kippur Edition.

Check it out!

G'mar Hathimah Tovah!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

The Super Power Meme

6 of the Seventh Month 5770

Jacob Da Jew tagged me with the "Super Power Meme." He says he tagged me "'cause the West Bank is the new Wild Wild West and a Superpower sure would come in handy."

Here are the rules of this meme,...which I, in typical Esser Agaroth fashion, will bend, break, and destroy, one by one.
1: Write one superpower you would like to have and what you would do with it.

2: Write why you chose that super power over everything else.

3: Tag and link lots of people, and write why you think they will have an interesting meme.

4: Fix your broken links.

5: Don't forget to leave a comment below with a link to your post on this meme.

So, which super power would I like to have? Well, that all depends. I'll break it down into themes.

If I were a member of the Justice League of America, I'd want to have the power of the Green Lantern's power ring.
The Green LanternThe power ring's most distinctive effect is the generation of green, solid-light constructs, the precise physical nature of which has never been specified. The size, complexity, and strength of these constructs is limited only by the ring-bearer's willpower; whatever the wearer imagines, the ring will create. No hard upper limit to the power ring's capabilities has yet been demonstrated and it is often referred to as "the most powerful weapon in the universe."


Do I really need to provide an explanation as to why I would want the powers of a ring which is limited only by whatever the wearer imagines (...and the color yellow)?

PhoenixMystiqueNow, if I were to choose from the super powers of the X-Men, one of my favorite series, I choose either the telekinetic abilities of the Phoenix or the shape-shifting abilities of Mystique. It would be way cool to be able to move anything around, including myself or to shape-shift into any appearance.

But, the truth is that the one super power I would really like to possess is magic, like in the wizarding world of Harry Potter. Or, as Jacob Da Jew might phrase it...



It's all in the wand, baby!


I don't know if Jacob, or the originators of this meme would count this as a super power, but so what.... I'll do what I want. And, if I had Harry Potter's magic, I really could do what I want.

As most of you, know, I do not like to hassle people with tags. I'll just make a few suggestions, going back to the Justice League/Super Friends theme.

Rafi is more of a long-distance runner than a sprinter, but perhaps could be seen as The Flash anyway.

I could see Batya or Lisa as Wonder Woman. (Rumor has it that Lisa is an avid comic book reader, too.)

I have it on good authority that Ron (AKA: The Hashmonean) likes powerful vehicles. I could see him feeling quite comfortable behind the wheel of the Batmobile, souped up with loads of gadgets, mowing down a terrorist or two. I actually see him more as Robin that as Batman. The honor of being Batman gets bestowed on Nathan of Lines Writing Lines. You're both in Tel-Aviv, so that'll be convenient for you to work together. Have you even met, yet? I think you might get along. I'm pretty sure, anyway.

Jack's leadership skills make him suited for the role of Superman, the proverbial head of the Justice League/Super Friends (AKA Super Bloggers). Plus, as an abba (dad) , I'm sure a super power or two would come in handy (eg. x-ray vision, superhuman strength, superhuman speed, flying, etc).

I could see Bar-Kokhba as Aquaman. Don't ask me how I came to this conclusion. It's a secret.

Eric at The Israel Situation would make a good Hawkman. "Why?" you ask. Why not? He's in Colorado,...lots of peaks and mountains. Being able to fly would certainly come in handy.

I wonder if Material Maidel would make a good Bat Girl. Let's ask her.... She already chose "time travel" as super power. But, since she might be a closet nerd, Bat Girl would be perfect for her, as her alter ego is a librarian.

Omri
at Mere Rhetoric could be Atom, getting into places he shouldn't. And Daniel of The Jewish Fist could be Green Arrow. That should help him deal with the local "nuisances"
in his area.

What about Occidental Israeli? Could he be a Human Torch?

Now, how could I possible forget Micha'el at My Random Diatribes? He's one of the few bloggers I know "in real life." He has just the personality to be a super hero. But which one? Which super power would he choose.

Stay tuned....

Monday, September 21, 2009

Haveil Havalim #235 Is Up!

Fast of the Seventh Month 5770

Batya has done a fantastic job hosting the Haveil Havalim Blog Carnival this week!

It's the JBloggers Unite! The Post-JBlog Convention Havel Havelim aka The Slow Fast Edition of Havel Havilim

She has posted it on both Shiloh Musings and Me-Ander.

Don't miss the post-JBloggers Convention posts.Check out exactly what participants liked and didn't like about it. We'll see if they take any such feedback under consideration for next year....

Shanah Tovah!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Shabbath Leftovers - Rosh HaShanah 5770

Fast of the Seventh Month (Tzom Gedaliah) 5770

OK, I am obviously not eating anything right now. It's a fast day, and B"H I do not have any health issue which would prevent me from fasting.

only four hours

how many times can I tell you about my omelet or egg sandwich? Booooooring!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Beware Of Governments Bearing Gifts: Israeli GPO To Begin Issuing Press Credentials To Bloggers

Erev Rosh HaShanah 5770

Tomer Devorah alerted me to the following:
Media Credentials for Top Israeli Bloggers

Erev Rosh HaShanah 5770/September 18, 2009, 10:49 AM

(IsraelNN.com) Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu's office will acknowledge the growing power of bloggers by providing writers of the most popular blogs with media credentials, according to Maariv. The credentials would allow the bloggers to enter news conferences and similar events.

The initiative was first revealed at the Second International Jewish Bloggers Convention this week by Ron Dermer of the Prime Minister's Office, who said it will take some time to implement the program. PMO officials will first spend months investigating various blogs and determining which of Israel's popular bloggers should be offered credentials.

Full story

As I understand it, this parashah was initiated by Jameel Rasheed @ The Muqata blog, when he made a public request for press credentials at the aforementioned convention:
"...Therefore, the logical question I asked was if the Israeli government wants our help to "Defend Israel" through the JBlogosphere (and we gladly help), why can't we get [Government Press Office] GPO Press Credentials? I was surprised that so many people applauded the question. Dermer promised he would take care of it. To help him with his promise -- if you are a serious blogger, drop me an email and I'll put together a request list to him....."
The way I see it, the key word in the above news report is "investigating." Call it K'far Tapu'ah Paranoia, if you must. I choose to call it necessary suspicion of the government.

I have no problem with Jameel's request. If he receives press credentials, then more power to him. However, I believe we must keep this policy in perspective.

The Erev Rav controlled, Israeli government is running scared. The ratio of Haredim in the Israeli population continues to increase, as is that of religious Jews, in general. The majority of second-graders who started school this year are religious. The percentage of officers in the IDF who identify as religious is the greatest it has ever been, and continues to increase each year.

Yet, every time the Torah world attempts to assert its influence, the Israeli Supreme Court immediately shoots it down.

The government knows that it's only a matter of time before they will no longer be able to keep up the resistance.

Eventually they will have no choice but to take increasingly drastic measures, in a futile attempt to prevent the inevitable.

The Erev Rav controls the mainstream Israeli media. The center-right Jerusalem Post is sometimes critical of the government, but does sufficient bashing of Haredim and settlers to keep it off its back.

The last thing the Israeli government needs is a set of independent critics with access to government officials. They know what we have in mind, and they don't like it one bit.

If granted access to press conferences and other assorted events, we will do the one thing of which the Israeli goverment is terrified.

We will be asking questions, and not just any questions, but the questions they don't want to be asked, let alone answer in public. We will be asking the questions to which they do not even know the answers, causing them great public embarrassment. We will be asking "them" to justify their actions. We will be putting "them" under the microscope, and adding the information we gather to our posts publicizing the truth to Jews outside of Israel, keeping them informed as to what is really taking place here.

There is no question that not just any blogger will be granted press credentials. Oh sure, there may be one token they will be able to brand as a nut job in an attempt to discredit other bloggers they do not like. But don't expect any great revelations in freedom for the press with this new policy. No, the powers that be will be using this as an opportunity to "investigate" us.

Fellow blogger Nati of Mystical Paths has already been "visited" by the Shabba"k (General Security Service AKA: "Secret Police") over his writings.

There was a time when I figured that the powers that be did not take English speaking blogs seriously. We're just a bunch of ideological nuts,...regardless of ideological flavor.

Well, there is no doubt that "they" know we're on the map. Whether "they" think we are a threat to them, only time will tell. What we do know is that instead of flying under the radar, the radar will, at least periodically, be focused on us.

Beware of governments bearing gifts.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

JBloggers Convention Post-Mortum: No Regrets

26 of the Sixth Month 5769

Well, another Jewish Bloggers Convention has passed, and I didn't even get a lousy T-Shirt.

Do I regret not going? No. But, just because I didn't attend the convention, doesn't mean that I can't provide my very own post-mortum. That's part of the fun of being a blogger, throwing my opinion around whenever I want. Hey! No one said you had to read it!

I included many links in this post. That was not to annoy you, but so that you can know who I'm talking about, that is, if you want to. You don't have to click on every single link. For convenience sake, links to posts and to websites are in blue-green and links to photos are in red.

Convention Communication
As I was trying to leave my house, I saw Benji online, and asked him via Twitter if he had seen any of my attempts at infiltration cards at the convention. Then I noticed Akiva online, live-Twoozing the convention. So, I followed him for a while, and suggested a question to ask at the workshop he was attending.
Akiva: In the Defending Israel through Social Media session. Israeli govt spokesperson, 'We're losing the PR battle.'

10ag: @akivapaths Has anyone brought up that some Jewish bloggers couldn't care less about PR to goyim? Educating Jews, yes....

(cont.) Let's care more about what HaQadosh Barukh Hu (The Holy One, Blessed Be He) thinks, and not what the goyim think. #

Akiva: @benyehudah # I'll ask when they open to questions :-) Yes you can live Twooze your questions!
I'd be interested in finding out what the response was from the panel. Later that night, I did some more, quick Twittering with Ron and Rafi about the convention, kind of a wrap-up.


Convention Voyeurism
Jacob Richman took countless photos at the convention, and was nice enough to post them on his site. He also put many more on Facebook, and opened them up for tagging.

Boy, I'm glad I didn't go, simply because of the crowds. I hadn't even thought of that when I originally posted why I wasn't attending. I'm not claustrophobic or anything, just feel a bit overwhelmed by them sometimes.

Double Tapper was clever enough to wear a shirt with his blog name on it, not to mention bringing his trademark,...a weapon. Steve Leavitt also wore a shirt with his name on it.

Yocheved Golani kept holding up a small poster promoting her book. A little tacky, yes, but can't fault her really. And it worked. Even I am blogging about it, giving her a drop of free publicity. After all, it sounds like it could be a helpful book. It's called It's My Crisis and I'll Cry If I Need To: Empower Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge.

Yocheved is sitting next to Penina Tal-Or of Jews For Judaism, and Ruti Mizrahi of Ki Yachol Nuchal.

Carl was there. Our mutual acquaintance Debbie suggested that he and I meet. Perhaps one of these days...

I also missed meeting Rafi. Here he is with Akiva. I also missed seeing my buddy Shmu'el, now that he's abandoned me.... Actually, I missed meeting quite a few people for the first time: Ron, RivkA, Risa, Jacob, and countless others.


Airing Of Grievances (alla "Seinfeld" on Festivus)
Where to begin? Well, I will just stick with those issues I did not already cover in my original why I'm not attending post.

1. Check out the prayer set-up. Unacceptable. Where are my daleth amoth? (I told you so.) Was there a place to wash ones hands nearby? Was there silence? Was there chit-chat? Was it rushed through? Were the ma'asas of the inyanim of the minhagim emphasized over halacha?

2. I heard from Batya that there wasn't any mention of Twoozer nor of WeJew. Not cool. (Harumpf!) For those of you unfamiliar with these networking tools, Twoozer is the Jewish answer to Twitter, and WeJew is the Jewish answer to YouTube. Here's a photo of founders and operators Avi Abelow and Shlomo Wollins, standing with Moshe and my friend Menahem.

3. Was there any mention of Haveil Havalim or any other blog carnival? (I told you so.)

4. Jack, Soccer Dad, and Leah were not flown in for the convention. (I told you so.) Totally unacceptable.

5. Well, I could go on and on. But as my friend Ariel suggests, there's really no point in doing so.

They didn't seem to listen to feedback last year (...or did they?), so why would they this year?


No Regrets?
So, do I regret not attending the convention? Nope. It still seems to much like a stage for a select few to push their agendas and to make some money. However, most bloggers with whom I spoke were most interested in the social opportunities, were grateful for the set up, and were willing to tolerate the blatant ulterior motives in order to shmooze, catch up, and meet new people.

I sure would have liked to see the looks on people's faces when Jameel Rasheed requested press credentials. (ha ha!)

As you can see, I am happy to promote people, organizations such as WebAds.co.il (Heck! Even my own health insurance company was a sponsor!), even conventions themselves. I am just not willing to attend those conventions which include the participation of representatives from the Israeli government. But, never say never.

OK. Maybe I

By the way, did anyone else besides Ariel, Ron, RivkA, and Benji see my cards which were snuck into the convention? Does anyone know what happened to them?

The "In" Siman (Symbolic) Foods For Rosh HaShanah 5770

26 of the Sixth Month 5769

The "In" Siman (Symbolic) Foods For Rosh HaShanah 5770 were created by yours truly!

You have all heard the one about having lettuce, raisins, and celery on the table on Rosh HaShanah, right? "Lettuce have a raisin celery." (Let us have a raise in salary.) While at work, another siman food, in English, sort of just came to me.

Qishu'im are those "not-quite-zucchinis" I mention periodically on this blog. More precisely, they are green squash. We should have them on the table this year, and say "May our enemies be squashed." If that's too politically incorrect for you, then you could say, "May my yesher hara be squashed." Or if that is still too intense, then say "May my squash game improve this year." I was so excited about how clever I was, that I just had to go around telling everyone at work. Unfortunately, my brilliance was met with only lukewarm response.


One of my superiors was even more clever, challenging me to think of a proper place for chocolate in the collection of siman foods on the table. I met his challenge. Being a grammar nut finally paid off. I couldn't think of any interesting connection in English. So, I broke apart the word in Hebrew to see what I could find. שוקולד (shoqolad) is the Hebrew used for chocolate. ש I set aside. It could mean "that" or "which." Then is hit me. קלד (Q/L/D) is the root used for typing. להקליד (lehaqlid) means "to type" and מקלדת (miqledeth) is a "keyboard." From this analysis, I came up with שנוקלד בספר החיים (she nuqlad b'sefer hahayim).

"May we be typed into the Book of Life!"

*********

You can check out the picture of a chocolate keyboard at Geek Alerts.

And don't forget to make sure that the chocolate you put on the same table with a meat meal is pareve (neutral/non-dairy)!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Esser Agaroth Limerick

25 of the Sixth Month 5769

A certain fellow blogger sent this to me, on the same day as the JBloggers Convention, no less, saying that he "found" it. Well, since it's days before Rosh HaShanah, I suppose I should give him the benefit of the doubt.

How did he know that I liked limericks?

Should I be offended? Or should I feel complemented that he took the time to send it to me?

What do you make of it?

There once was an old man of Esser,

Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,

It at last grew so small

He knew nothing at all

And now he's a college professor.