No, I am not being sarcastic, as you might think. Usually, you would be right to think I was being sarcastic,...but not this time.
So, there I was, minding my own business, just having bought the most amazing-looking half of a watermelon for Shabbath (jealous?) in the shuq, when I pass by this guy who I thought looked like a young version of Heshy Fried (FrumSatire.net).
I called out, "Heshy!" Not loud enough. "Heshy!!!" He turned around. "Heshy Fried?"
"Yeah?" he said.
I looked annoyed, saying, "What? You're in town, and couldn't even call??"
"Well, I don't even know you are. And, you obviously don't read my blog. Otherwise you'd know I was coming." He was smiling, though.
I told him who I was, that this kind of thing always happens to me in Jerusalem, and we started chatting in the middle of the closed shuq. I explained that I almost did not recognize him, as he looks a lot younger in person.
We talked about the requisite "Which bloggers have you met?" then started moving outside.
We made it outside, then just when we were acknowledging that we don't really read each other's blogs, we noticed where we were standing, right next to the Aroma Cafe Heshy immediately noticed that somehow looked out of place, to upscale for the shuq. I explained to him that it was worse than that. The Aroma Cafe was a "chain," and thus a big shanda that it dared deface the shuq with its tackiness.
(American Translation: What happens when a Gap or a Starbucks opens up in a cool, not-yet-trended-out street or neighborhood? It's the beginning of the end of that street or neighborhood's coolness.)
We decided to move on, and to get something to drink, seeing that we both had the time. When we sat down to our overpriced soda water (or, as you Nu Yawkers say, seltzer) and mint lemonade over crushed ice, needless to say NOT at that "chain store" Aroma Cafe, I found out why Heshy is so cool.
Even though I was being my typical airheaded, exhausted by Thursday, socially awkward, yet talkative self, that did not seem to bother him at all, and just seemed to go with it. A typical Capricorn, he seemed very down to earth yet confident.
We talked about Jerusalem, Israel, what he was doing here (I'll let him tell you.), and what I have been doing lately in my boring life. Somewhere in there, he commented about how much I looked like a "settler," which I though was kind of cool. He also asked me if Ya'aqov Ben-Yehudah was my real name. I asked him if he brought his bike. Of course, we also talking about blogging. He told me I could blog about this, and I told him he could blog about that. Where's the free WiFi in Jerusalem? I was going to buy a knife today, but how would it look (on the to the miqwah to tovel it with my other newly-purchased kitchen items) if a "settler" passed too closed to today's gay parade security area with a huge knife in his bag? You know, typical blogger stuff.
We got the bill, and after the requisite (Am I allowed to use this word twice in the same blog post?) argument over who was paying, we decided to go "Dutch."
We were walking the same way, so we left the shuq together. When I stopped to buy my four-pack of soda water (4 bottles for NIS 11, can't beat that), I realized I was short, and did not want to schlep to the bank machine with all of my shopping, and then schlep back. So, I asked him to front me the few sheqqels I needed, thus he got the drink-buying credit after all, yet another reason why Heshy Fried is cool.
After talking about what we were doing for Shabbath, we parted ways (at an undisclosed location), where I continued on home (at an undisclosed location), and he went off to do some investigative blogging (at an undisclosed location).
I don't know, Hesh. Did I just ruin your reputation? Did I overdo it? Sorry.
Only time will tell if Heshy lives up to this post. Will he plug my blog, like I am plugging his? Will I get a mega-bump in hits from it? And just how much will my blog rating on Technorati actually rise as a result?
You can see Heshy Fried perform at the "Off The Wall" comedy club in the basement of Ben-Yehudah Street 34, Jerusalem (corner of King George Street). It's either on the night of July 4 or 5. I'm afraid I forgot. So, wait for Heshy to post about this, or call (050) 875-5688 (in Israel) for more information.
In the meantime, you can check out his Frum Satire YouTube Channel.
Absolutely an 'only in Jerusalem' moment!
I am telling you. This kind of stuff happens to me all the time in Jerusalem, usually at Minha time, meaning from 1/2 hr. after noon to sheqiath hahamah.
Why then? I have no idea.
Very Jerusalem, though we've met in other places.
Nu, maybe you guys want to come to Shiloh for waffles. I'll cook them but not eat them.
Thanks, but no thanks.
Jameel turned me off waffles ages ago.
On that waffle maker your husband won at last year's conference?? Double no thanks.
Besides, you'd have to make them from spelt. I'm back on my no wheat kick.
I do have to come to Shilo for the Levine Bar-Mitzvah,...Tu b'Av.
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