The Codependence of a People

Rosh Hodesh of the First Month 5764

The following was written at the mention of "Black-Jewish Relations Week at Princeton." IMHO, it is important that the relationships between the Jewish People and other peoples be re-examined from time to time.

It is within the nature of the Jewish people to be concerned with justice,... with fairness.

The extent of the involvement of Jews in the civil rights movement in the US [& other countries], the anti-appartheid movement in South Africa, and for that matter in the so-called human rights movement world wide, is well-known.

After all, it is written: "Tzedeq, tzedeq, tirdof..." - Justice, justice, you shall pursue..." (Deut. 16:20)

This verse is as much a part of us as the entire Torah, whether Jews realize it or not.

I'm not saying that Jews should not have been involved. I'm not saying that we should not have been supportive. I am saying that we need to be honest with ourselves about where it's gotten us.

Many Black leaders have, and continue to rewrite history. It's the Jews' fault for their continued oppression.

When an African-American donates money or volunteers time to an African-American charity or institution, he's participating in "self-empowerment." When a Jew does the same fo a Jewish organization, he's considered to be elitist or even racist.

In an attempt to appease other such communities, the Jew donates money and time to them. This kind of people-pleasing behavior is a common symptom of what is known as "codependence." The "die-hards" make a point of neglecting their own community, after all they do not see themselves as being worthy. This low self-esteem and compliance are additional symptoms of codependence. Codependence can be roughly defined as 'the dependence on external sources for the fulfillment of emotional needs and self-validation and worth.'

The Jewish identity is the next casualty. Jews neglect learning about their own heritage, try to make it "easier" by re-inventing it (ie the so-called movement of Judaism), or forsaking it all together (G-d forbid).

The cycle continues. Parents are unable to answer their children's basic questions about their heritage. And when it come to why they should marry a Jew or why should they care about Israel, they are at a total loss.

Rav Meir Kahane HY"D provides us with an extensive history of Jewish assimilation, the ultimate codependent act, in his book Listen World, Listen Jew. Through this book and others, he has helped many Jews break out of their codependence; he has returned to them their self-esteem and pride in their heritage.

Eventually, Jews who haven't learn any Torah before actually do. And in the process, they learn the rest of the verse:

"Justice, justice, you shall pursue, that you will live, and inherit the Land that G-d has given to you." (Deut. 16:20)

There is no justice unless we treat ourselves justly. We are worthy. HaShem has given us His Torah, and has given us our Land.

The only external validation we need comes from G-d, not from any other human community.

The Cycle of Abuse...Continues?

Rosh Hodesh of the First Month 5764

I was pleasantly surprised to hear of the death of a monster yesterday, a monster responsible for the deaths of a great number of Jews. May the monster's (Sheik Yassin YSh"W) name and memory be blotted out....

The response of Leftists was not surprising: “We just have to talk with ‘them’ some more.” Sounds to me like western elitists attempting to say that Arabs should abandon their culture and act like westerners. Hmm…I believe that’s called “intolerance to foreign cultures,” an accusation that leftists generally like to throw at their political opponents. Hmm…I believe that’s called hypocracy.

The response of the so-called “international community” was particularly appalling this time. How could anyone in his right mind not see the similarity between this monster and Bin-Laden (may the his name and memory also be blotted out)???

But what about the response of the Israeli government? My question is this: How long will it take for Sharon to apologize for the killing?

Nah! He probably won't...this time.

Picture this: A little kid is upset. He runs up to the big bully at school, kicks him in the knee, barely even bruising him, then runs away.

Sound familiar?

I just described Israeli governments, past and present, never seeming to "finish the job." Even though the bully has been viciously abusing us for hundreds of years, often collaborating with other bullies, Israel is too concerned with what Mommy (the UN/Europe) and Daddy (the US) will think. Mommy and Daddy always tell, “Don’t hit back! Just come tell Mommy and Daddy, and we’ll take care of it.”

But, they never do.

It does not matter to the little kid that Mommy and Daddy are incapable of seeing the truth, and incapable of caring for him. After all, they are far too involved in their addiction to the drugs of power and material wealth.

The little kid only has G-d on his side. All the little kid has to do is cry out to G-d, and to do what G-d wants (i.e. Torah & mitzvoth), but he’s too stubborn. Instead he continues in his pathological cycle of "learned helplessness" and remains the passive-aggressive victim.

Israel has only one choice: with HaShem’s help, tefillah (prayer), tzedaqah (charity), and tshuvah (repentance). And let us not forget that tshuvah includes taking responsibility for ourselves and stopping the cycle of making the same mistakes over and over again.

Note: It is most certainly not the intention of the above to put down nor to minimalize the pain of families who suffer from the pain of active drug addiction (G-d forbid). It is simply an analogy.