Esser Agaroth Year in Review תשע"ה/5775

ג׳ לחודש השביעי תשע״ו

After a long hiatus, I have brought back my annual Top Ten Words and Phrases post, renaming it to the more precise "Year In Review."

Here is a look back at the significant trends of תשע"ה/5775. Let's just that I hope for a much improved תשע"ו/5776.

10. Refugees
Where from Africa or Syria, whether to allow them in to Israel or not, the Israeli Government seems to care more about "refugees," and what they can do to boost its public image and overall standing in the eyes or the "international community," than its own citizens.

9. Infiltrators

Same thing, different word. 'Nuff said.

8. Women of the Wall
Yep! They're still around! The most, simultaneously hysterical and pathetic thing about the Hags of the Wall is that they have no clue that they're just being used as pawns. Unfortunately, they may be successful in convincing some naive, and perhaps disenfranchised Jews, that they represent anything even remotely related to Judaism.

7. BDS

Boycotting, Divesting, and Sanctioning Israel may just be the kick in the pants we need to wake up! Unfortunately, we Jews are too busy whining about it to notice.

6. ISIS
Israel is pretty surrounded by ISIS in the Sinai Desert, Azza (Gaza), Syria, and who knows what's going on in Jordan. We also have a suggestion here and there, that ISIS is already in Israel, having either sneaked in from abroad, or just inspired Israeli Arabs to join up via Internet.

ISIS Banner on the Temple Mount
Summer תשע״ד/2014

No doubt, the Israeli government will take advantage of the ISIS threat as a means to show the Israeli public that it needs it to protect them.

Shimon Peres

5. Shimon Peres
Shimon Peres wants to give away parts of our Divinely Promise Land, join together Esau (The West) with Yishma'el (Arabs/Muslims), and encourage our assimilation into Western, "progressive" culture, the antithesis of Torah. Doesn't anyone else see this?

4. Jewish Terrorism

Fatah Emblem

(eyes rolling) Fear mongering by the Israeli government and it loyal minyons trying to scare the public into believing that Torah observant activists are equated with Taliban, Iran, and ISIS, and will take everyone's Western "progressive," assimilation "rights" away if they had the chance. Pseudostinians who kill Jewish babies are "freedom fighters" in the eyes of the world, and in the eyes of many Jews as well. PA President Mahmud Abbas's Fatah Party emblem clearly  shows its ultimate goal for the Land of Israel,...erasing it from the map. But, Jews daring to ask questions about authentic Torah observance are "terrorists."

3. Torah vs. State

This year we have more reports than I can remember regarding the conflicts between Torah Low and Israeli Law. But, instead of talking about the conflict, religious lackeys of the Israeli Government insist on arguing that any conflict between the two does not exist.

2. Iran

Iran still insists on wiping us out, and apparently, so do the U. S. President and Secretary of State.


Maybe it is time to turn for help to the only one who can actually do something to protect us from Iran, and I don't mean any human power either.

1. Meir Ettinger

Meir Ettinger

People see this name, and are scared. Why? Because he is sitting in jail without indictment, conviction or trial, and absolutely no evidence whatsoever of any wrongdoing? Because he wrote some articles? In other countries, one would expect him to be called a "political dissident." However, Meir Ettinger has the wrong religion, the wrong beliefs, and the wrong loyalties for that.

In case you interested in what Meir Ettinger has actually said, and actually believes, you can read it here for yourself, instead of relying on rumors and lies.

Top Ten Words and Phrases of תשע"א/5771

Erev Shabbath Qodesh Parashath No'ah 5772

The compiling of the long-awaited, and VERY tardy, Top Ten Words And Phrase of תשע"א/5771 has finally been completed.

The annual list of Esser Agaroth's Top Ten Words And Phrases has been around since תשס"ד/5764. The top Ten Words List includes words which have been overused, underused, or significant to the universe in one way or another. The links below indicate previous posts which have addressed, or have attempted to address, the issue. Those words which are not linked? Stay tuned for some good ol' fashioned smacking of those who need to be smacked from Esser Agaroth during תשע"ב/5772! (click the link above for past years' lists)

This year's list is dedicated to Efraim HaKohen in Jerusalem. Please let him know.

10. Coffee - Self-explanatory.

9. Rabbi – Many of you know that I try to stay far away from "rabbis," and stay close to Hakhamim. Yes, there is most certainly a difference! I especially try to stay far away from those calling themselves "rabbis" who have allowed themselves to be influenced by those from whom they have received salaries or donations (eg. The State, Government of Norway, Christians, etc.).

8. Nakba/Intifada – These words do not even deserve their own entry. These contrivances from the Pseudostians (Honorable Mention goes to Batya @ Shiloh Musings for the addition of this word to our vocabulary!), under the manipulative hands of the European "High Left," must be from ejected from our vocabulary.

7. The State – Doesn't that sound like the title of a good ol' fashioned dystopian novel? Well, sometimes living in Israel can feel that way. Check out what fellow blogger Ariel at The Torah Revolution thinks about The State, keeping in mind that he believes that Jews must come back home to the Land of Israel to re-settle it, unlike Neturei Karta types.

6. צדק חברתי/Social Justice – How this concept has been expressed, both recently in Israel, and years ago in the U. S. is neither "social" nor "justice." Discuss amongst yourselves.

5. Shimon HaTzadiq - 'Nuff said.

4. Christian Friends - The most effective way for me to express my feelings on this phrase would be in the traditional fashion of the San Fernando Valley, in the 1980's: "Like, gag with a spoon!"

3. 1,000's of Arab Terrorists - Yeah! Let's hear it for the Arabs Terrorists יש"ו! (eyes rolling) May they all get what they really deserve! (May their names and memories be blotted out!)

2. רכבת קלה/Light Rail – As a Jerusalemite, and as a Jerusalemite who benefits a great deal from our new light rail system, the…had to be on this year's list! Stay tuned for Esser Agaroth on the…

1. Gil'ad Shalit – How could I not put Gil'ad in the No. 1 spot?

Well, that's a wrap for 5771!

Have a great 5772, and make sure to pay attention to those catchy words and phrases!

Top Ten Words and Phrases of תש"ע/5770

8 of the Sixth Month 5770

This annual tradition continues! ...usually being presented around my birthday,...which is today!

Also, don't forget to see the previous four years’ Top Ten Words & Phrases.

10. Y-M (JM), T”A, R”G, B”B, Q”S, B”Sh, RaShLa”Tz, GaBa”Sh, QaMa”Sh – Use of abbreviations is very common in Israel. Who can guess what these abbreviations are short for?

9. קטניות (qitniyoth – various legumes & edible seeds) – You know? Those things many Ashkenazi Jews in Israel still do not think they are allowed to eat during Passover.... I have talked about this a lot over the years. Yet, this word has never earned a place of honor in the Top Ten Words and Phrases. I think it's about time, don't you?

8. לעבור דירה (moving) – In the past 15 months I have moved four times, after having lived in the same house for almost five years.

7. Likud – The party currently in power in the K'nesseth (Israeli Parliament). Prominent members include current Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu. I have been too busy (and too lazy?) to cancel my party membership. Lisa, by the way, does not think it's a good idea for me to cancel it.

6. Alpha Epsilon Pi [AEΠ] – A predominantly Jewish, college fraternity, and member of the IFC. I'll bet you wouldn't guess that I would include something “Greek” in my Top Ten List! Well, over the years, AEΠ has increased its identification with Israel through annual, sponsored trips.

It seems that I bump into AEΠ's now in Israel on a regular basis. Every year, several brothers come for their Junior years abroad. I love to seem the look on kids faces, when a guy with beard & payos, comes up to them, and gives them the secret handshake!

Last summer saw the founding of the first college fraternities in Israel, new AEΠ chapter at IDC in Hertzliyah. People may have mixed feelings about bringing this American institution to Israel. But, developing awareness and a closer connection to Israel is definitely a good thing! If you are an alumnus, and living in Israel, please join our Facebook Group.

5. The 'Hood – For me that is Qiriyath Moshe, as I am back in 'hood, after an eight absence. This is the first neighborhood in Jerusalem in which I ever lived, made lots of friends, many of whom are still here or in nextdoor Giv'ath Sha'ul. I have several other friends who have lived here at one time or another, usually while learning in yeshiva, such as Merkaz HaRav Kook, Machon Me'ir, Nahalath Tzvi (now in Pisgath Ze'ev), or Darchei No'am (Shappell's). So, I guess for me this will always be “The 'Hood.”

4. Nachla'ois – Every few weeks or so, I have been spending a Shabbath meal in the neighborhood of Nahla'oth, only the third neighborhood built outside of the walls of the Old City of Jerusalem. I like to tease my friends there by pronouncing the name of their neighborhood in a pronounced, Hasidishe manner, being that it is a traditionally “super spiritual” neighborhood. Teasing aside, there are many friendly and interesting Jews who live there. Why, even I almost ended up living there,...twice.

3. Super Spiritual – This phrase is an inside joke for me, old friend Mattitiyahu, new friend Ze'ev, and a handful of others. Maybe you can figure this one out from A Tale Of Two Neighborhoods.

2. רכבת קלה (light rail) – The first line of the Jerusalem Light Rail is almost here! Estimated time of completion is April, 2011. I can't wait! Read more about the project's progress on Cosmic X In Jerusalem.

And the number one Top Word or Phrase of תש"ע/5770 is...

1. Flotilla – What the hell is a flotilla? Since when is a few rag-tag boats compared to a "a formation of small warships that may be part of a larger fleet?"

Shannah Tovah!

Top Ten Words and Phrases of תשס"ט/5769

17 of the Sixth Month 5769

The following is the list of Top Ten Words and Phrases of תשס"ט/5769. The presentation of this list is an annual tradition.

If you don't get, don't sweat it. You're just not part my (super spiritual!) inner circle (yet). That's all.

Enjoy!

Shannah Tovah!


10. Nonchalant

9. Disdain

8. Favicon (Credit: Nathan)

7. Post Secret (Credit: Nathan)

6. Ostentatiously Tzni'us - women who "cover" everything up, but still stick out like a sore thumb, due to big, neon, purple turbans and the like. (Credit: The Hayeh Adam Rebbe of Me'ah She'arim)

5. Un-Jews/Un-Jewish (Should be self-explanatory - Credit: Golbert & Co.)

4. Babylonians (Jews who refuse to make aliyah - see also Babylonian Talmud, Yoma 9b)

3. "My rabbi said..." from annoying women after spending a semester or two in "sem." (Credit: The Kalashnikover Rebbe)

2. "My teachers say that I should only marry a man who sits and learns all day AND is "well-established..." (Credit: MDB) ("Well-established" is code for "wealthy." Now you know why there's a so-called "shidduch crisis." It's because of "teachers" like these.) (Credit: MDB)

And the top word or phrase of תשס"ט/5769 is...

1. OMG! I am SO spiritual! (Credit: MDB)

Top Ten Words and Phrases of תשס"ח/5768

Erev Shabbath Qodesh Parshath Ki Thetzei 5768

The following is the list of Top Ten Words and Phrases of תשס"ח/5768. The presentation of this list is an annual tradition. Do not expect to understand all of these words, nor the point to their being listed here, unless of course, you know me personally.

This year's list is dedicated in celebration of Effie's recent hasanah and impending birthday, the birth of David's daughter (may she be zokhah to linguistic fabulousness), and Matti's impending engagement. Gee. I hope I didn't just jinx it....

Enjoy!

Shannah Tovah.


10. Recalcitrant credit to The Kalashnikover Rebbe

9. Every where, like such as, and... Credit to last year's Miss Teen South Carolina

8. I personally believe that... Don't we all? More credit to last year's Miss Teen South Carolina

7. Vilde Hayah (Yid: "wild animal") - Don't ask.

6. Sour Puss partzuf hamutz in Hebrew - I hope not to see anymore of these next year.

5. Perfunctory

4. Precarious

3. Accusatory K-Rebbe had something to do with this one, too.

2. Nefarious credit to The Elder Of Ziyon

And the top word or phrase of תשס"ח/5768 is...

1. Ergo credit to Solomon Corners

Top Ten Words and Phrases of 5767/תשס"ז

Erev Shabbath Qodesh Parshath Wayelekh-Nissanim 5767

The following is the list of Top Ten Words and Phrases of תשס"ז/5767. The presentation of this list is an annual tradition. Do not expect to understand all of these words, unless of course, you currently live with me in the same domicile (a word which did not quite make the list,...maybe next year).

Enjoy.

Shannah Tovah.


10. Tedious This year's [hopefully] self-explanatory word

9. Poser Pseudo intellectuals to simple fakers and liars, posers are annoying.

8. Vermin Let's put it this way. I had to use some mouse traps smuggled in from the US, as the Israeli [legal] ones aren't so effective.

7. Uncouth A nice way of saying "Am Ha'Aretz."

6. Ill-Bred Provincial Another nice way of saying "Am Ha'Aretz." Unfortunately, one phrase just isn't enough for me.

5. Hiatus That annoying thing that TV series do, instead of perpetually pumping out new episodes. No, I don't have a working television.

4. Vulgar It's not what you think. If it was used in the book Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thacheray, then it's OK to use in a blog post.

3. Insolence A favorite word of Dr. Evil, and quite a useful one at that.

2. Sparking Olives What would it sound like if the "Sparkling Wiggles" girl said "Sparkling Olives" instead? Think about it.

And the top word or phrase of תשס"ז/5767 is...

1. Harry Potter Really now, do you have to ask?

Top Ten Words and Phrases of תשס"ו/5766

6 of the Seventh Month

The following is the long-awaited list of Top Ten Words and Phrases of תשס"ו/5766. This is an annual tradition. Yet, this is also the first time I am posting the list to my blog.

Most of you will have no clue what this is about; it's one of those inside jobs. You may surprise yourself, though, by understanding some of the items on the list. And so, you may laugh [& cry] along with us....

Shannah Tovah.

10. (tie) "That's offensive!"

10. (tie) Big Salad "It's like a small salad with lots of STUFF in it." - Elaine Benes

9. How did those Arabic posters ever get put up in Yaffo?

8. South Park (self-explanatory)

7. The Gedud (pronounced "juh-DUDE")

6. Liberated Olives (from SBD)

5. Ghettolicious (from DMR)

4. Blame Canada

3. Giv'ah (pronounced "jeev-AH")

2. Shfar'am (in honor of E HY"D, E, Y, & Y)

And the top word or phrase of תשס"ו/5766 is...

1. The Dirah (pronounced "DEE-rah")