Star Trek XI

Mossa'ei Shabbath Qodesh Parshath Wayesse 5768

And, now for something completely different...

The casting of the major roles for the the new Star Trek film has been completed, with the casting of Chris Pine as the young Star Fleet Cadet, James T. Kirk.

The 11th installment of the Star Trek films will take us back to Captain Kirk's Star Fleet Academy days, and recount the story of how he meets his future Enterprise crew: Spock, Dr. McCoy, Scottie, Sulu, Uhura, and Chekov.

In addition to Chris Pine, th cast will include actors such as Karl Urban as Dr. McCoy. Urban should look familiar to you. He played Eomer in the second and third installments of the Lord Of The Rings films.

Another actor who should look familiar is Zachary Quinto as Mr. Spock. Quinto plays the role of Sylar on the hit TV series "Heroes," and before that had a role on "24."

And, this just in, Wynona Rider has been slated to play Amanda, Spock's human mother.

Only one major casting question remains, who will play Capt. Christopher Pike, the captain of the USS Enterprise sometime after Jonathan Archer and before James T. Kirk.

Personally, I am also curious to know if Nurse Christine Chapel, the character created by Majel Barret, the late Gene Roddenberry's widow will appear in Star Trek XI.

Now that the casting is almost complete, I am starting to get a little nervous. i hoe that there is a method to their casting. I hope they have Star Trek mavens (Trekkers), like myself, on board, people who actually know the details of the Star Trek Series and films. They can help keep this film consistent with previously established story lines.

For example, Dr. McCoy is much older than the rest of the crew, and should have graduated already, stuff like that.

I have a felling that this film will either be really good, or really suck.

OK. We now return you to your regularly scheduled, right-wing, Israeli blog....

The Tax Office

5 of the Ninth Month 5768

The tax office seemed to be the easiest office of the Israeli government to deal with.

I first encountered it three years into my "journey," as I like to call it.

Up until then, I was either exempt from taxes or my taxes were taken care of automatically. The first time people have to go to the tax office is when they have more than one source of income.

My fourth year in Israel, I had more than one job. I was teaching junior high school, as well as adult, night school. This is often the case with with teachers in Israel, at least when starting out. It is necessary to find two, sometimes three, part-time jobs in order to put together the equivalent of one full-time position.

By the way, two offices in the center of the country are located here:

Jerusalem Israeli Tax Authority Finance Ministry Kanfei Nesharim Street 66 02-6545111 Giv'at Sha'ul, almost to Har-Nof

Greater Tel-Aviv Area Income & Property Tax Dept. Finance Ministry Menachem Begin Way 125 03-7633333 Just south of the Azrieli Center

The process is fairly easy. Make sure to have the most recent pay stubs from all of your sources of income, tlushim in Hebrew. If you left a job in the middle of the year, you must make sure to have a letter from each previous employer, stating the final date of your employment. This will serve as "proof" that you are no longer employed there.

As always, don't forget your Te'udat Zehut (Israeli ID card). Bring your Te'udat Oleh (Immigrant ID & rights booklet) as well. You may be entitled to a tax break or even an exemption, depending on how long you have been in the country.

In the event you live in a development area, make sure you bring in proof of residence, either a Ishur Toshav or a Ishur Megurar. The address displayed on your ID card is not sufficient. This will entitle you to an additional tax credit. These days development areas are located only in the Negev Desert or the Gallilee. But double check.

Always xerox your tlushim and other documents. You will need to show the originals to the clerk, provide xerox copies. This is the general rule for government offices in Israel.

As soon as you are employed by more than one institution, you must make certain to go into your local tax office and report it. Otherwise you will find that the first paycheck you receive from your new employer will be 50 percent of what you thought it would be.

The tax authority automatically takes 50 percent out in tax, unless you show up with the documents to show that should be paying less than that. Most importantly, the deadline for taking care of this process in December 31, not April 15 of the following year. Meet this deadline, unless you want to go through the much longer and involved process of requesting a tax return from a past tax year.

In case you don't go in right away, don't worry. You should receive any over payments you may have made in your next paycheck. This includes any moneys owed to you after the readjustment of your tax rate.

This is the extent of my experience. If you have more complex situations, such as income from abroad, dividends, capital gains, interest from savings accoutants, etc., it would be well worth your while to consult an accountant. There are plenty of accountants who are certified both in Israel and in the U. S. {or Canada), who can advise you as to how to jungle your particular circumstances.

JANGLO [Jerusalem Anglo Protexia] E-Group is a good place to ask other English-speaking immigrants for recommendations of accountants, or for anything else for that matter.

U. S. Tax Filing

And speaking of taxes, my first year in Israel, I knew I was expecting a huge U. S. tax refund. So, I wanted to make sure to file my U. S. tax forms. First I made sure the have my W-2 forms forwarded to Israel. I found it easy to renew my U. S. mail-forwarding order (which only lasts three months, I think). I had brought extra forms from the U. S. Nowadays, you can get can print them out from the U. S. Postal Service Website.

I was able to pick up my Federal tax forms at the U. S. Embassy in Tel-Aviv. Nowadays, they can be downloaded from the Internal Revenue Service website. You may even choose to e-file your taxes. U. S. tax returns are delivered to Israel by courier, and then sent our through regular Israeli mail. Generally, checks drawn on foreign banks take a couple of weeks to clear. My tax return was cleared by my bank immediately, as it was easily identified as a U. S. government check. For some reason, though, I strongly suspect that this is not the rule, but the exception, and may have even been a mistake on the part of my teller. After 10 years, it still sounds too good to be true.

And, of course, do not forget to avoid the bank on Sundays and U. S. [or you other country of origin's] holidays. Most Israeli banks will not process your checks when the bans they are drawn from are closed.

It may seem like a lot of information to remember. Still, though, the Israeli tax office was a pretty straight forward experience for me. Please post your comments with your experience here.

b'Hatzlahah

My Changing Accent

4 of the Ninth Month 5768

I don't really care for those quizzes floating around the Internet. But this one about American accents caught my attention on Treppenwitz.

What does it have to do with aliyah?

After being in Israel for 10 years, I have lost my Southern Californian accent. Well, according to all of the New Yorkers, Midwesterners, New Englanders, and Texans I know in Israel, I haven't. Americans I meet for the first time can tell that I am "not from New York." That's the best guess they can make as t where I am from. They cannot usually say with 100 percent confidence that I am from California, let alone Southern California. (There's more one than one Californian accent, folks!)

This "for entertainment purposes only" quiz, which I took twice with the same results, seems to confirm my suspicions.

What American accent do you have?
(Best version so far)

Neutral

You're not Northern, Southern, or Western, you're just plain -American-. Your national identity is more important than your local identity, because you don't really have a local identity. You might be from the region in that map, which is defined by this kind of accent, but you could easily not be. Or maybe you just moved around a lot growing up.

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com

I suppose that it's all YOUR faults. When I do speak English, which has been quite a bit the last couple of years, it's with New Yorker, Brits, Aussies, Kiwis, everyone except Californians. I am in periodic contact with only one Californian. He hasn't lost his yet. But mine seems to be beyond the point of no return. When I bumped into a fellow Southern Californian seven years ago, he and I immediately fell into heavy accents peppered with regional lingo, so much so that the guy from the East Coast listening to us had no clue as to what we were talking about.

No more. Last year when college friends of mine from Los Angeles came to Israel in celebration of their son's bar-misswah, they told me that my changed accent was the first thing they noticed about me. Apparently, they weren't going to say anything about it. I was the one to bring it up, asking them to confirm my suspicions. It wasn't anything positive or negative, just something that was immediately apparent to them.

Fortunately, these friends speak Hebrew, so I did not have to monitor my word choice constantly. Like many immigrants in Israel, my native tongue is no longer "pure," having been infiltrated with a great deal of Hebrew. But that's another post for another time.

Of course, my accent isn't the only thing which has changed. I mention it solely as one of the many marks of change I happened to have noticed in myself. Living in Israel, making a home in Israel has been, and continues to be, a transformative experience.

A Minor Mishap

26 of the Eighth Month 5768

Many of us in the Shomron (Samaria) have an emergency communications systems involving beepers with a display screen, at least those of us in the smaller towns. Our "divuhit"* (pictured left 12% of actual size), which hangs on the wall in the salon (living room), went off this afternoon. No big deal. It's just annoying, mostly because I have to get up and turn it off.

Since infiltrations by Arab marauders into our town are not so common these days, thanks to our guard dogs, and security patrols, the beeper is often used to inform us of parents day in the Kindergarten, youth group activities commencing any moment now, and if you were planning on going to so-and-so's wedding in B'nei Braq, then you had better get on the bus already, which is leaving with or without you.

So, as I was saying, the divuhit went off this afternoon. The message displayed was:

"Return to your normal routine. You may now leave your houses."

Um,...What?! Did I miss something? I was home all day. Where was the message telling us to stay inside in the first place?

I found this to be very disturbing, as this is the language used after a security alert has been investigated, and the situation has been rendered under control.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, it went off again. This time the message was:

"The message before last was sent out while there was a glitch in the system. Sorry.
-The Dispatcher"

And, no, the dispatcher is not one of our local security personnel. You guessed it. The dispatcher is attached to the army.

Look. These things happen. We like to think that we are pretty tough out here, and for the most part, we actually are. We are always cautious, but can also roll with the punches, which invariably come.

And so, I could not stop myself from seeing the humor in the situation, as a friend of mine reminded me the image of Gilda Radner's z"l character from Saturday Night Live, Emily Litella, saying, "Never mind."

It has been one of my goals to encourage Jews, in particular North American Jews, to make aliyah. I guess I am not doing a very good job of it right now. Am I?

I am not so sure. These little mishaps are part of the adventure called "life in Israel." Living in the middle of the Shomron is not for every one. Every town, city, and region in Israel has its own personality. You have to look around, and find the right place for you. And you have to understand that wherever you decide to live, you will experience some kind of minor mishaps from time to time.

Five Things I Should Be Doing Instead Of Blogging

Mossa'ei Shabbath Qodesh Parshath Hayyei Sarah 5768

Once again I was left out, and had to "steal" a meme.
I stole it from TNSPR569 who tagged by Batya.


Five Things I Should Be Doing Instead Of Blogging

*Of course, since I stole this, I don't have to follow the rules. For better or worse, I have more than five things I should be doing instead of blogging.

8. Cleaning my bedroom

7. Washing dishes

6. Doing laundry (without I washing machine, I might add!)

5. Looking for a free, TV show streaming site now that TV-Links seems to be out of commission.

4. Looking for a wife

3. Learning

2. Getting a life

and the number one thing I should be doing instead of blogging is:

1. Getting a Friggin' Job!

*That's fracking for you BSG fans.

Well, I don't thin I'll tag anyone. But, If you decide to answer this one, then please leave me a shameless plug about in a comment below!

Haveil Havalim #138 Is Up!

17 of the Eighth Month 5768

Haveil Havalim Edition #138 is up on Soccer Dad's Blog.

Please check out the easily navigable edition of this Jewish and Israeli Blog Carnival!

כל הכבוד, אבא כדורגל!

Drinking Tea

Mossa'ei Shabbath Qodesh Parshath Wa'era 5768

The ideal vessel from which to drink tea is porcelain.

Ask anyone from Great Britain.

Not in the Middle East, though, where one is obligated to burn ones hand on a scorchingly hot glass.

Here's a tip. Make sure the glass is not filled all the way. Then encircle the glass with your thumb and forefinger, just under the rim. Drink and enjoy without getting burned.

The Cult Of Rabin

14 of the Eighth Month 5768

Pre-Test:

See if you qualify for membership in the Rabin Cult:

1. a. Who ordered the shooting of the Jewish freedom fighters coming toward the Israeli shore on the Altalena? b. Who bragged about the attack on the Altalena while at a reception in Washington, DC?

2. Whose foreign minister secretly engineered the Oslo Death Accords, and when he found out allowed them to continue anyway? (Hint: The Oslo Death Accords included the commitment on the part of Israel to arm Arab terrorists?)

3. Which evil person was transformed into a martyr, in order to further the anti-Israel, Leftist, post-Zionist agenda of self-destruction?

4. Which former Israeli prime minister was opposed to the formation of another Arab state side by side with Israel?

Well, if you answered Yitzhaq Rabin, then you will NOT be allowed initiation into the cult, because your brainwashing has not completed. Before proceeding, you will need to go back for "re-education" in an approved setting, say for example, an Israeli public school. And, no it does NOT matter if it is a religious school or not, as long as it is not "Torani." The Torani schools emphasize the importance of Torah, confusing students with the possibility that the Israeli government is not infallible, and thus have been deemed "unacceptable."

Seriously though, and even setting conspiracy theories aside, the creation of the Legend of Rabin is one of the great triumphs of the Israeli government. It has successfully rewritten history under the noises of five million Israeli citizens, as well as the rest of the human population.

They have taken a man complicit in murder and have transformed him into a saint.

Now, in all fairness to Rabin, rumor has it that before his death, he was actually starting to to see the light, preparing to recant on his policies destructive to Israel. Assuming that was true, it was most likely because actually realized that in order to get re-elected he might have to listen and to implement the will of his constituents.

If this was true, then this remotely positive glimmer of hope was covered up,
...permanently.

Cult Rituals:

Israeli public schools put on elaborate assemblies to commemorate the anniversary of Rabin's death. The entire day is spent on discussing Rabin's "vision of peace," via the gradual destruction of the State of Israel and Jewish identity of Israeli citizens. Children discuss how [even though the Arabs have never kept a single peace agreement] the next time a peace agreement is signed with the Arabs, they will surely honor it, and the killing will stop. Israelis are to take the higher ground, demonstrated by their continual willingness to make concessions and to tolerate the deaths of its citizens,...all for the sake of peace.



This year the number of activities, such as religious and right-wing bashing were reduced. Striking high school teachers refused to return to work, despite calls by Minister of Education Yuli Tamir for a one-day suspension in honor of Rabin's anniversary of death.

Eight years ago, as a junior high school teacher, I had the displeasure of being forced to attend a ceremony in Rabin's in honor. At this ceremony, I had to listen to a "rabbi" had the hutzpah (gaul) not only to praise Yitzhaq Rabin, but to use his name in the same sentence with Rahel Immeinu, whose anniversary of death is the day before his. This "rabbi" did not stop there, but made comparisons between the two.

And this was in Beth-El, a town where an entire neighbor of residents was prevented from entering their already finished apartments, due to Israel's concession of a housing freeze. Fortunately, and I am not at liberty to reveal the details even now, the apartment owners were able to bypass the guarded fence, and enter their apartments on a Thursday. Why Thursday? It was almost the weekend. By Sunday they had lived in their apartments for three days, which under Israeli law gave them limited squatters' rights. They had fought fire with fire, and the government was powerless to evict them. If only that were the case today. But, nowadays double standards are the norm of the Israeli judicial system.

But, I digress...

The commemoration was interrupted periodically by "Second Intifada" shooting in next door Ramallah. In fact, can you imagine what it was like to teach with refular shooting in the background. The student who lived around the corner in Dolev and Talmon were found space in the high school dormitories, so they would not have to face daily dodgings of bullets, nor the increase in two hours to the commute. For a while, anyone leaving Beth-El was not allowed to do so without waiting for the IDF escorted caravan.

Current President Shimon Peres probably would have reassured us that those were not the guns that we gave them. They were obviously different guns.

One of my fellow teachers brought a sefer to study, an early example of "refusing orders." Instead of standing attentively, he made a point of learning, explaining to his students that the ceremony was nothing less than Bitul Torah.

I did not have the foresight of my colleague, and was relegated to recounting some of Rabin's deeds, that were omitted for the "rabbi's" speech. If they were post high school students I would have challenged them to find me a source which stated that it was a misswah to praise such a man, and to commemorate the anniversary of his death. (Begin with the Ramba"m, and I assure you that you will find the opposite.)

Those eighth-graders of ours are now in the army. Let's hope that our examples are remembered when they are faced with the decision whether to follow or to refuse orders which are contrary to Torah law.

A few years later, at a different school, I encountered a preferable approach. The elementary school where I then taught made the requisite Rabin memorial display, and set it up in a visible, yet clearly non-prominent corner. I do not recall any memorials at that school. If there were, then they were not memorable.

The yeshivah high school where I was also teaching at the time must not have done anything at all in commemoration of Rabin. The math teacher and I came across the Rabin memorial educational materials from the ministry, still in their sealed packaging, hidden away in a corner. I was given the honor of throwing them out. Being the voice of environmental conservation, I raised the question as to whether it was permissible to re-use the curriculum's high quality containers, as well as the backs of the paper materials themselves for scratch paper. The decision was to be mahmir, and to throw the packages out in their entirety. Under most circumstances, it is forbidden to obtain any benefit from avodah zarah. ;-)

Recently it has also become customary to fast on the anniversary of Rabin's death, actually having the hutzpah to place this observance on the same level with the Fast of Gedaliah (I wonder just how many Rabin Cult members actually fast on the Fast of Gedaliah.) Cult clergy have also ruled that weddings are not to be performed on this day. However, weddings on Shabbath and marriages to non-Jews appear to be acceptable within cult guidelines.

I am really NOT kidding about this. Please click to see the report on the Israeli news site YNET.

Those who are truly righteous adherers to the cult, perform full prostration in front of Rabin's image, and preferably at the site of his death next to Tel-Aviv City Hall.

Jameel Rashid at The Muqata captures this ritual beautifully on film, with accompanying commentary on Rabin-related rituals. (Jameel just gave me permission to post the photo here. Please still check out his commentary.)



A picture truly does speak more than a thousand words....


Even after my extensive research into the Cult Of Rabin, I still have one question: How do they get away with commemorating his Rabin's death both on the Hebrew date and on the non-Jewish date? My hypothesis is that the cult masters are transitioning their followers from Judaism to pure cult worship, realizing that these things take time.

Sometime soon, I expect that the 12 Heshwan date will be phased out in favor of a singular day with pomp and ceremony on 4 November date, albeit more pomp than ceremony.

On that day, the surviving version of Rabin's "vision of peace" will have achieved its fulfillment: A de-Judaification of the Jewish People and de-Jewification of the Land of Israel. The former Jewish People will now be able to take its rightful place, fully assimilated into European society, following the new heirs to the throne, Yossi Beilinand Avraham Burg, waving our EU passports in joyful unison, with our new "bottle top" shaped kippot blowing away in the wind or tucked away in our pockets, our fifth exile having begun right under our noses.

May God forbid it. May God save us.

***********************

Additional commentary can be found at the Israeli Satire Laboratory. It may be "satire," but it is really not so far away from the developing reality.

Rabin Canonized Posthumously by Israeli Secular Church of Peace

12 Settlers Burned at the Stake as Israel Marks Saint Rabin's Day

See more on the Altalena at Shiloh Musings:

Chasing Tails

Avenging Blood Of Jews


Also, special thanks go to A Simple Jew for leading me to the Altalena article linked above.

Arab Drive By

13 of the Eighth Month 5768

Usually when you hear the word "drive by" shooting, you think of Los Angeles gangs.

Well, today there was a "drive by" in my 'hood, near Shkhem (often identified as Nablus by the international news media).

The shooting took place at the northern entrance to Ariel, a city in Samaria which site midway between Tel-Aviv and the the Jordanian border. In order to catch the shooter, the road was blocked between Ariel and Tapu'ah Junction.

I arrived to catch the bus to Jerusalem about an hour after the shooting. Tapu'ah Junction, the main crossroads in the area, which joins the Jerusalem road with northern Samaria, and the coast with the Jordanian border, was packed with cars and trucks coming in from all directions, and trying to move on in all directions. Needless to say it was a mess! (Click map to enlarge)

I knew that there was no way that the bus was going to get through, and most likely had already decided to skip my bus stop. So I did something which many of you may is crazy. I started walking south,...unarmed. My goal was to get out of the mess, and get to the next town, Rehelim, where the main highway is joined by road from Ariel's southern entrance. Once there, it would be possible for me to catch a ride toward Jerusalem. I have walked this road before, and was not concerned.

I was joined by a former student. We exchanged news about Havath Gil'ad, where he was headed to help defend its residents from the continual plague of Arab harassment and by the self-hating Jews who come along to egg the Arabs on. The Israeli government is supposed to call that kind of activity "incitement," but doesn't because religious Jews are not involved.

Shortly before we reached Rehelim, we could tell that the roadblock had been lifted, by the renewed flow of traffic.

I later learned that the terrorists had still not been caught.

But, I digress...

Various organizations like the UN, EU, and any number of NGO's constantly criticize Israel for the "great hardship" it causes the Arabs through the roadblocks it sets up in Judea and Samaria.

Well, this is why. The roadblocks are set up to prevent such attacks, by hindering the movement of arms and of the terrorists themselves. Critics have also come down on the IDF for the searching of ambulances, even though incidents of ambulances smuggling arms are well-documented.

It is clear that the so-called "international community" cares more about the occasional inconvenience to Arabs' than actual Jewish lives. I wish that fact were clear to my Jewish brothers and sisters in the U. S. and elsewhere.

Meanwhile, just where did the Arabs get their weapons from?

A certain former, Israeli prime minister authorized the arming of the Arabs about 13 years ago.

A certain, current president of Israel has repeatedly reassured us that those authorized firearms have never been behind the killing of Jews. (???!!!)

Funny. I don't feel very reassured. There was just a "drive by" in my 'hood.

Since the system of roadblocks is not 100 percent effective. So there really is only one solution... But we are not allowed to talk about it. For if we do, we are accused of "incitement."

Television Interview With Evicted Jew

11 of the Eighth Month 5768

Here is the link to the Aharon Deutch's Israel National Television interview with Yekutiel Ben-Ya'akov.

Ben-Ya'akov is a resident of K'far Tapu'ah, and one of many Jews served with "stay away" orders from their homes in Judea and Samaria.

He is the founder and head of Yeshivat Magen Ha'Aretz on a hilltop near K'far Tapu'ah, where men study Torah, as well as self-defense and dog-handing. The dogs are employed in guarding towns, search and rescue, and bomb detection, and are responsible for the saving of many lives.

The "authorities" claim that this is a preventative measure to protect the Arabs from possible harm while they are harvesting olives, often within close proximity to Jewish towns.

Jews are served with restraining orders, preventing them from going to work, and if their families come with them, it makes it almost impossible for their children to attend their schools of residents, their wives to travel to their workplaces, and for them to protect their homes from Arab infiltration.

Of course, the thought of serving restraining orders to Arabs when their is a clear and present danger to Jews seems to be out of the question, and evn thought of it can cause a Jew to be investigated for "incitement of racism."

Welcome to Israel.